Monday, 29 August 2016

The Land Down Under

While browsing through my favourite news sites this morning I came across an article about a juvenile Port Jackson shark found in a roadside puddle in Australia. The story goes that a member of the public was driving along a road in the town of One Tree Hill, Australia, when they spotted something thrashing about in a puddle. Upon investigation it turned out to be a small shark. Local authorities were baffled. I, on the other hand, wouldn't be. This is Australia we're talking about after all.
This is a land filled with many strange and wonderful creatures, most of which will be actively trying to kill you. James May, former host of Top Gear once said "It's terrible, it's too hot and it's full of spiders." Famed fantasy author Terry Pratchett even wrote a parody about Australia in his Discworld novel The Last Continent. At some point when the character of Death requests a book about the dangerous animals that exists there he is bombarded with a large pile of books consisting of the various volumes of "Dangerous Mammals, Reptiles, Amphibians, Birds, Fish, Jellyfish, Insects, Spiders, Crustaceans, Grasses, Trees, Mosses and Lichens of Terror Incognita", the total books going up to Volume 29C Part 3, while a request for information about the harmless creatures merely produces a note saying "Some of the sheep".

There are some creatures living in Australia that make no sense whatsoever. Let's take the duck-billed platypus. Here is an amphibious creature with the bill of a duck, the feet of an otter and the tail of a beaver. It classifies as a mammal, but it lays eggs. And it has venomous spurs on it hind legs. Then there is the kangaroo. A large animal that hops around and turns into the Jean-Claude van Damme of the animal world when you get too close to it. Australia is also home to massive crocodiles, the occasional firestorm and many, many spiders. And just to make things even more outrageous, not too long ago Australia had Spider Rain, where millions of spiders fell out of the sky, their webs blanketing the landscape. Does this sound implausible? Well, click here to be redirected to the article. And just in case you need another reason never to go there, here is what those millions of tiny spiders look like when they are all grown up.....

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

The Truth in Advertising

The other day I was browsing around on a site that sells new and used cars. Eventually I found myself admiring a convertible version of the new Ford Mustang. But among the usual features like air conditioning, power steering and anti-lock braking, some rocket scientist added "sunroof". Now, I am pretty sure that when you put the roof down, yes, you will have sun. But I don't quite think he knew what a sunroof actually is. Then, in another classified section, I saw an advert for a matric farewell dress. The picture showed a smiling girl wearing said lovely dress. But the description said "never been worn". After shaking my head at the sheer absurdity of it I decided to see what other advertising fails are out there. I was not disappointed....











We truly do live in a very strange world!

Monday, 1 August 2016

Fool's Gold

Let's face it, there is a dark evil presence in this world. One that lurks in the depths of the Internet, hunting like a shark. Every so often it will get the scent of prey and it will close in on its unsuspecting victim. Those who are ignorant or those who have been warned about this danger and are ignoring it continue to swim, blissfully unaware that a dark shape is heading electronically towards them. And like a flash it lunges at them and the result is not pretty.....
Suddenly we see the fin pop up in our inbox, promising to make us wealthy beyond the ken of mere mortals. We will stop ageing and develop massive male organs. The opposite sex will flock towards us, stripping out of their clothes as they go in order to save time. Our hair will become the stuff of legend; long and wavy. The heroes on the covers of romance novels will pale in comparison to our magnificence! We will be irresistible!

At least, that is what they claim. I honestly wonder about the sanity of people who look at these mails and think "Yes, this seems completely legitimate. I will sign up for this!" A simple test of logic will easily refute these claims. Have you ever played the UK Lottery? No? So why on earth would you suddenly have won 500 million British pounds, half the crown jewels and a date with Kate Beckinsale? Have you ever had any interaction with a Nigerian prince, or even heard of one? No? So why the hell would one be contacting you and offering you millions of dollars? It honestly makes no sense to me!

But among the multitude of swimmers there are the brave few. Those who see the fin, grab it with both hands and kick the shark dead in the face. One such fearless man is called James Veitch. He decided to do what we've all wanted to do all along......spam the spammer. And the way in which he does it is worthy of song! But I am not going to spoil it for you, have a look for yourself....

Tuesday, 26 July 2016

The Horror!

I recently read an article about the creepiest places on earth. Oddly enough my urologist's examination room didn't make the list. But some of the places listed are downright bizarre, so I thought I would share a few.

The Door to Hell - Turkmenistan
The Door to Hell was originally a gas field set alight by Soviet scientists that has been burning continuously for over 40 years. Inexplicably, spiders seem to love this place and swarm there by the thousands, thus confirming (to me, anyway) that the name just might be on to something.

The Hill of Crosses - Lithuania
Originally Kryziu Kalnas was a ceremonial site where Lithuanians would mourn the dead lost at war. The Soviet Union (again?) twice bulldozed this area, only for locals to build it bigger. Today, over 100,000 crosses stand on the hill.


Muynak - Uzbekistan
Muynak was once a busy port city on the Aral Sea. That was, until the Soviets (seriously!) unintentionally drained the sea for irrigation. Today, rusted-out boats litter the now-desert floor.


Cincinnati’s Subway System - Ohio
Cincinnati attempted to build a subway system in the early 1900s, only to run out of funding. The empty tunnels still run along beneath the city, half finished and fully creepy. I suspect the Soviets might have had something to do with it, if the previous examples are to be believed.


Akodessewa Fetish Market - Togo
Since over half of the population of Togo continues to practice indigenous beliefs, fetish markets are in high demand. Just imagine: shrunken heads and skulls as far as the eye can see.


The Catacombs - Paris
The Parisian Catacombs function as a gigantic ossuary and cemetery for approximately 6 million bodies. Beyond just bones, there is also the non-tourist section of the Catacombs, where a mostly illegal and unpoliced second city extends for miles beneath Paris.

Varosha - Cyprus
Varosha is a completely uninhabited resort city on Cyprus’ coast. After the Turkish invasion (not the Soviets this time), Varosha was quickly evacuated. Today, Varosha stands deserted displaying exactly how life was in 1974.

Monday, 18 July 2016

Pokémon Go

Pokémon's catchphrase has always been "gotta catch 'em all". And it seems with the release of Pokémon Go Nintendo is managing exactly that. Catching thousands of people who now walk around their neighborhoods catching imaginary animals so that they can use them to do battle later on. For those who have not heard of this craze (because you have been living under a rock or on an island in the pacific somewhere), Pokémon Go is an augmented reality game that you load onto your mobile phone. It then uses your phone's camera to display an image on your screen and adds in creatures for you to catch.
So now you have people walking randomly down roads intently watching their phones (come to think of it, most people do it even without Pokémon Go installed) hoping to find a creature that they can chuck a Pokéball at and capture it. And there are already reports of people walking in front of cars or trains or falling off of things because they are more intent on their augmented reality world than their real one. Others are reporting that there is an increase in the number of crimes reported because more people are wandering outside intently observing the world through their phone's camera.

Even doctors have clambered onto the bandwagon and stated that this game is good for you, because it gives you exercise and fresh air. Well, unless you walk into a pole or in front of a car. This craze has taken off so much that there are even videos with helpful hints and hidden secrets that you can watch in order to get the most out of the game. I definitely think Nintendo has taken the Pokémon catchphrase to heart and have caught them all......


Tuesday, 12 July 2016

Are You Not Entertained?!

With the elections coming up in a month or so, the political climate in South Africa is once more akin to a teething baby playing with a hand grenade. And once again political parties are promising us the moon and the stars, with Mars thrown in as a bonus. In South Africa we have 13 officially recognised political parties all vying for our vote, and a staggering 73 political parties that are not recognised officially by parliament. And who do you vote for? The one which promises you free KFC and a Porsche? Or the one that promises to kick all the current homeowners out of their homes and give them to the even richer and more corrupt? Thankfully I have come up with a simple solution. One that will make voting a simple procedure. I give you......

THE POLITICAL PARTY HUNGER GAMES

The premise is simple. You take all the leaders of the political parties who are all clamouring for your votes and put them in a large arena. Then you give them all swords and vote for the one that survives. Quick, simple and efficient. And you don't have to wonder who to vote for, there will only be one guy left! Now that Oscar Pistorius has been sentenced (again) and is off to jail (again), we need a new reality TV show. And just think how exciting this one will be!
I realise that I joke about the political situation in South Africa quite frequently, but that is because, to the rest of the world, it has become a joke. Even we who live in South Africa can't take it seriously. Just now the guy you voted for uses your tax money to build a massive house and install a fire pool. For those who don't know, a fire pool is like a swimming pool, except for the......no, wait, it is just a swimming pool. Trevor Noah, the South African comedian who now hosts The Daily Show in the USA, once stated that politicians are taking the local comedians' jobs away from them by being just as funny, if not funnier, than said local comedians. It is no wonder the world is laughing.....

Monday, 4 July 2016

Having a Meltdown

I am a big fan of world history. Whether it be the two world wars, the moon landing, the time the rebels overthrew the Galactic Empire.....I enjoy reading about it all. One event in particular has always fascinated me, the nuclear explosion at Chernobyl. For those of you who are now looking at your screen scratching your head in confusion, let me elaborate. On the 26th of April 1986 a scheduled reactor shutdown at the Chernobyl nuclear facility in the USSR went disastrously wrong, costing 31 people their lives and causing the evacuation of an entire city. To this day the city remains under quarantine because of the high levels of radiation still present.
"Wow, that is terrible!" you exclaim. And yes, it was. But when you read up about the details, you realise that it was just one mistake after another that caused the disaster. Let's dig a little deeper.

WARNING: THIS POST IS ABOUT TO GET HIGHLY TECHNICAL AND EXTREMELY INFORMATIVE

In steady state operation, a significant fraction (just over 6%) of the power from a nuclear reactor is derived not from fission but from the decay heat of its accumulated fission products. This heat continues for some time after the chain reaction is stopped (following an emergency shutdown, for example) and active cooling may be required to prevent core damage. Old reactors like those at Chernobyl use water as a coolant. Reactor 4 at Chernobyl consisted of about 1,600 individual fuel channels; each requiring a coolant flow of 28 metric tons (28,000 liters) per hour. Since cooling pumps require electricity to cool a reactor after an emergency shutdown (SCRAM), in the event of a power grid failure, Chernobyl's reactors had three backup diesel generators; these could start up in 15 seconds, but took 60–75 seconds to attain full speed and reach the 5.5‑megawatt (MW) output required to run one main pump. To solve this one-minute gap, considered an unacceptable safety risk, it had been theorised that rotational energy from the steam turbine (as it spun down under residual steam pressure) could be used to generate the required electrical power. Analysis indicated that this residual momentum and steam pressure might be sufficient to run the coolant pumps for 45 seconds, thus bridging the gap between an external power failure and the full availability of the emergency generators. Now, because this was just a theory, it was only marginally tested, and those tests failed. So another test was scheduled.

This test focused on the switching sequences of the electrical supplies for the reactor. The test procedure was expected to begin with an automatic emergency shutdown. No detrimental effect on the safety of the reactor was expected, so the test program was not formally coordinated with either the chief designer of the reactor or the scientific manager. Instead, it was approved only by the director of the plant (and even this approval was not consistent with established procedures). Mistake number 1. Because, you know, Russia....where everything is alright with enough vodka.

The experimental procedure was intended to run as follows:
  • The reactor was to be running at a low power level, between 700 MW and 800 MW.
  • The steam-turbine generator was to be run up to full speed.
  • When these conditions were achieved, the steam supply for the turbine generator was to be closed off.
     Turbine generator performance was to be recorded to determine whether it could provide the bridging power for coolant pumps until the emergency diesel generators were sequenced to start and provide power to the cooling pumps automatically.
  • After the emergency generators reached normal operating speed and voltage, the turbine generator would be allowed to continue to freewheel down.
What could possibly go wrong? I mean, how hard could it be? Very, by the look of things. The conditions to run the test were established before the day shift of 25 April 1986. The day shift workers had been instructed in advance and were familiar with the established procedures. A special team of electrical engineers was present to test the new voltage regulating system. As planned, a gradual reduction in the output of the power unit was begun at 01:06 on 25 April, and the power level had reached 50% of its nominal 3200 MW thermal level by the beginning of the day shift.

At this point, another regional power station unexpectedly went offline, and the Kiev electrical grid controller requested that the further reduction of Chernobyl's output be postponed, as power was needed to satisfy the peak evening demand. The Chernobyl plant director agreed, and postponed the test. Despite this delay, preparations for the test not affecting the reactor's power were carried out, including the disabling of the emergency core cooling system or ECCS, a passive/active system of core cooling intended to provide water to the core in a loss-of-coolant accident. Given the other events that unfolded, the system would have been of limited use, but its disabling as a "routine" step of the test is an illustration of the inherent lack of attention to safety for this test. Mistake number 2.

At 23:04, the Kiev grid controller allowed the reactor shutdown to resume. This delay had some serious consequences: the day shift had long since buggered off home, the evening shift was also preparing to do the same, and the night shift would not take over until midnight, well into the test. According to plan, the test should have been finished during the day shift, and the night shift would only have had to maintain decay heat cooling systems in an otherwise shut-down plant. Because of this the night shift had very little time to prepare for the test.

Alexander Akimov was chief of the night shift, and Leonid Toptunov was the operator responsible for the reactor's operational regimen, including the movement of the control rods. Toptunov was a young engineer who had worked independently as a senior engineer for only about three months. Seems like exactly the right guy for the job!

The test plan called for a gradual decrease in power output from reactor 4 to a thermal level of 700–1000 MW. An output of 700 MW was reached at 00:05AM on 26 April. However, due to the reactor's production of a fission byproduct, xenon-135, which is a reaction-inhibiting neutron absorber, core power continued to decrease without further operator action—a process known as reactor poisoning. This continuing decrease in power occurred because in steady state operation, xenon-135 is "burned off" as fast as it is created from decaying iodine-135 by absorbing neutrons from the ongoing chain reaction to become highly stable xenon-136. However, when the reactor power was lowered, previously produced high quantities of iodine-135 decayed into the neutron-absorbing xenon-135 faster than the reduced neutron flux could burn it off. As the reactor power output dropped further, to approximately 500 MW, Toptunov mistakenly inserted the control rods too far—the exact circumstances leading to this are unknown because Akimov and Toptunov both died in the hospital on May 10 and 14, respectively. This combination of factors put the reactor into an unintended near-shutdown state, with a power output of 30 MW thermal or less. Mistake number 3.

The reactor was now producing 5 percent of the minimum initial power level established as safe for the test. Control-room personnel decided to restore power by disabling the automatic system governing the control rods and manually extracting the majority of the reactor control rods to their upper limits. Several minutes elapsed between their extraction and the point that the power output began to increase and subsequently stabilize at 160–200 MW, a much smaller value than the planned 700 MW. The rapid reduction in the power during the initial shutdown, and the subsequent operation at a level of less than 200 MW led to increased poisoning of the reactor core by the accumulation of xenon-135. This restricted any further rise of reactor power, and made it necessary to extract additional control rods from the reactor core in order to counteract the poisoning.

The operation of the reactor at the low power level and high poisoning level was accompanied by unstable core temperature and coolant flow, and possibly by instability of neutron flux, which triggered alarms. The control room received repeated emergency signals regarding the levels in the steam/water separator drums, and large excursions or variations in the flow rate of feed water, as well as from relief valves opened to relieve excess steam into a turbine condenser, and from the neutron power controller. In the period between 00:35AM and 00:45AM, emergency alarm signals concerning thermal-hydraulic parameters were ignored, apparently to preserve the reactor power level. Mistake number 4.

When the power level of 200 MW was eventually achieved, preparation for the experiment continued. (This was probably mistake number 5) As part of the test plan, extra water pumps were activated at 01:05AM on 26 April, increasing the water flow. The increased coolant flow rate through the reactor produced an increase in the inlet coolant temperature of the reactor core (the coolant no longer having sufficient time to release its heat in the turbine and cooling towers), which now more closely approached the boiling temperature of water, reducing the safety margin. Mistake number 6.

The flow exceeded the allowed limit at 01:19AM, triggering an alarm of low steam pressure in the steam separators. At the same time, the extra water flow lowered the overall core temperature and reduced the existing steam voids in the core and the steam separators. Since water weakly absorbs neutrons (and the higher density of liquid water makes it a better absorber than steam), turning on additional pumps decreased the reactor power further still. The crew responded by turning off two of the circulation pumps to reduce feedwater flow, in an effort to increase steam pressure, and also to remove more manual control rods to maintain power. Mistake number 7.

All these actions led to an extremely unstable reactor configuration. Nearly all of the control rods were removed manually, including all but 18 of the "fail-safe" manually operated rods of the minimal 28 which were intended to remain fully inserted to control the reactor even in the event of a loss of coolant, out of a total 211 control rods. While the emergency SCRAM system that would insert all control rods to shut down the reactor could still be activated manually, the automated system that could do the same had been disabled to maintain the power level, and many other automated and even passive safety features of the reactor had been bypassed. Further, the reactor coolant pumping had been reduced, which had limited margin so any power excursion would produce boiling, thereby reducing neutron absorption by the water. The reactor was in an unstable configuration that was clearly outside the safe operating envelope established by the designers. If anything pushed it too far, it would be unable to recover automatically.

Now, at this point any wise person would realise that, maybe, just maybe, a very dangerous situation had now been created, and said wise person would have initiated steps in order to secure the situation. What did the Russians do? They declared that all was well and then went ahead with their experiment. I could carry on with the extremely technical explanation of what went wrong, but half of you have either dosed off or browsed away by now, so let's just say there was a rather large and impressive explosion. The reactor was spewing radioactive material into the night sky and causing fires all around the plant. The Russians thought "Well, we'd better put out those fires" and proceeded to do just that, without any safety gear or radiation suits. The fire brigade was also not informed about the radiation pouring from the reactor when they arrived to help. So a large number of people received MASSIVE doses of radiation which killed some within hours and some within days of exposure. To this day the Government does not allow anyone to go within 30 square kilometers of the reactor for more than a few minutes. This is to ensure that you don't come out with three heads, the ability to glow in the dark and various other superpowers.

So what can we learn from this? That lack of attention to detail and ignoring some very obvious warning signs can lead to terrible disaster. One which will have serious repercussions for years to come. Now if only someone would mention this to the South African Government.....