But Why???

As my lovely companion's pregnancy progresses and our little one makes its presence felt more and more, we have noticed a previously unknown problem arising; Random Belly Touching. People would just walk up to her in random locations and touch her belly. Why? Why the hell?!

I mean, would you like it if I randomly walked up to you and touched your stomach? Yet people think that being pregnant automatically gives them permission to enter your personal bubble and touch you. And it seems it happens everywhere, with family, friends, acquaintances and complete strangers! What is it about a pregnant woman that makes people go "Ooh! Pregnant belly! Must invade personal space immediately!"

Think about this from my perspective, you are entering my wife's personal space, touching her and at the same time touching our unborn child. If I were to walk up to your wife and do that, I'd end up with a black eye and/or with some random object protruding from my posterior. Thus, I make this kind plea to the general public, please stop randomly touching my wife. Or I may have to resort to hiring a pregnancy bouncer!

This kind gentleman would politely ask you to refrain from entering my wife's personal space. If, for some reason, you decide to ignore a man with a serious glint in his eye and more muscles than He-Man, he may have to resort to picking you up in a polite manner and escorting you from our immediate vicinity. Politely, of course.

Some research has shown that we are not the only ones to feel like this. Many of our recently impregnated female friends share this discomfort. So I am asking the public, please refrain from running up to pregnant ladies and touching them. This may result in bodily harm and having some nearby object shoved up dark and mysterious places......