What a man!

So this weekend my lovely companion and I visited some friends. Unfortunately those friends live quite a distance away, and we had never visited them before, so needless to say we got lost within 10 minutes of leaving our house. After much debating and frantic phone calls to our friends, we managed to head in roughly the right direction. Unfortunately, the rough storms that we've been having of late turned the roads into a lunar landscape and we were forced to proceed at a crawl. So a 45 minute journey took about 2 hours. It also didn't help that, when we quickly stopped at a gas station for a bathroom break and some cold drinks, that I took the wrong road after we set off again. At that point we were close enough that one of our friends took pity on us and drove out to fetch us. After arriving, my lovely companion immediately started going through our lady friend's toy collection, which left me to walk with the husband into the Room of Wonders. He is a bit of a gun fanatic, and has quite a collection. Just walking into that room I could feel my testosterone levels increasing! He showed me gun after gun, with me almost drooling onto most of them. It was then announced that lunch was ready, so I reluctantly tore myself away to go eat. After lunch all us guys set off to the shooting range. We had a modest collection of weaponry with us:

An AK-47 (civilian version, so it is semi-automatic only)
A Colt .45
A .22 with a 177 round magazine (it's a circular mag, a la Tommy gun)
A Star 9MM

They started me off gently, on the Star 9MM before upgrading me to the Colt .45. At this point I was practically vibrating, because I knew the AK-47 was next. As he unzipped the carry bag, a shaft of light broke through the clouds, I could hear an angel choir somewhere, time seemed to stand still. After he handed it over I stared lovingly at it. I was going to fire an AK-47! (I may have even mumbled "My Preciousssssss" at some point). I lined up with the target, my finger on the trigger. The birds fell silent, the wind stopped blowing, the universe itself stopped moving. I pulled the trigger and, as the target was being torn to pieces, felt like Schwarzenegger. I had to resist the urge to yell "Get to da choppa!" in my best Austrian accent. What a feeling! I was rather sad when the gun fell silent, the magazine empty and pieces of the target floating broken to the ground. I had to return to the real world. But even so I have promised myself (and my friend, who was probably lamenting the loss of an entire magazine of ammunition when he only told me to fire off a few rounds) that "I'll be back!"