I recently read an article about the creepiest places on earth. Oddly enough my urologist's examination room didn't make the list. But some of the places listed are downright bizarre, so I thought I would share a few.
The Door to Hell - Turkmenistan
The Door to Hell was originally a gas field set alight by Soviet scientists that has been burning continuously for over 40 years. Inexplicably, spiders seem to love this place and swarm there by the thousands, thus confirming (to me, anyway) that the name just might be on to something.
The Hill of Crosses - Lithuania
Originally Kryziu Kalnas was a ceremonial site where Lithuanians would mourn the dead lost at war. The Soviet Union (again?) twice bulldozed this area, only for locals to build it bigger. Today, over 100,000 crosses stand on the hill.
Muynak - Uzbekistan
Muynak was once a busy port city on the Aral Sea. That was, until the Soviets (seriously!) unintentionally drained the sea for irrigation. Today, rusted-out boats litter the now-desert floor.
Cincinnati’s Subway System - Ohio
Cincinnati attempted to build a subway system in the early 1900s, only to run out of funding. The empty tunnels still run along beneath the city, half finished and fully creepy. I suspect the Soviets might have had something to do with it, if the previous examples are to be believed.
Akodessewa Fetish Market - Togo
Since over half of the population of Togo continues to practice indigenous beliefs, fetish markets are in high demand. Just imagine: shrunken heads and skulls as far as the eye can see.
The Catacombs - Paris
The Parisian Catacombs function as a gigantic ossuary and cemetery for approximately 6 million bodies. Beyond just bones, there is also the non-tourist section of the Catacombs, where a mostly illegal and unpoliced second city extends for miles beneath Paris.
Varosha - Cyprus
Varosha is a completely uninhabited resort city on Cyprus’ coast. After the Turkish invasion (not the Soviets this time), Varosha was quickly evacuated. Today, Varosha stands deserted displaying exactly how life was in 1974.
Tuesday, 26 July 2016
Monday, 18 July 2016
Pokémon Go
Pokémon's catchphrase has always been "gotta catch 'em all". And it seems with the release of Pokémon Go Nintendo is managing exactly that. Catching thousands of people who now walk around their neighborhoods catching imaginary animals so that they can use them to do battle later on. For those who have not heard of this craze (because you have been living under a rock or on an island in the pacific somewhere), Pokémon Go is an augmented reality game that you load onto your mobile phone. It then uses your phone's camera to display an image on your screen and adds in creatures for you to catch.
So now you have people walking randomly down roads intently watching their phones (come to think of it, most people do it even without Pokémon Go installed) hoping to find a creature that they can chuck a Pokéball at and capture it. And there are already reports of people walking in front of cars or trains or falling off of things because they are more intent on their augmented reality world than their real one. Others are reporting that there is an increase in the number of crimes reported because more people are wandering outside intently observing the world through their phone's camera.
Even doctors have clambered onto the bandwagon and stated that this game is good for you, because it gives you exercise and fresh air. Well, unless you walk into a pole or in front of a car. This craze has taken off so much that there are even videos with helpful hints and hidden secrets that you can watch in order to get the most out of the game. I definitely think Nintendo has taken the Pokémon catchphrase to heart and have caught them all......
So now you have people walking randomly down roads intently watching their phones (come to think of it, most people do it even without Pokémon Go installed) hoping to find a creature that they can chuck a Pokéball at and capture it. And there are already reports of people walking in front of cars or trains or falling off of things because they are more intent on their augmented reality world than their real one. Others are reporting that there is an increase in the number of crimes reported because more people are wandering outside intently observing the world through their phone's camera.
Even doctors have clambered onto the bandwagon and stated that this game is good for you, because it gives you exercise and fresh air. Well, unless you walk into a pole or in front of a car. This craze has taken off so much that there are even videos with helpful hints and hidden secrets that you can watch in order to get the most out of the game. I definitely think Nintendo has taken the Pokémon catchphrase to heart and have caught them all......
Tuesday, 12 July 2016
Are You Not Entertained?!
With the elections coming up in a month or so, the political climate in South Africa is once more akin to a teething baby playing with a hand grenade. And once again political parties are promising us the moon and the stars, with Mars thrown in as a bonus. In South Africa we have 13 officially recognised political parties all vying for our vote, and a staggering 73 political parties that are not recognised officially by parliament. And who do you vote for? The one which promises you free KFC and a Porsche? Or the one that promises to kick all the current homeowners out of their homes and give them to the even richer and more corrupt? Thankfully I have come up with a simple solution. One that will make voting a simple procedure. I give you......
The premise is simple. You take all the leaders of the political parties who are all clamouring for your votes and put them in a large arena. Then you give them all swords and vote for the one that survives. Quick, simple and efficient. And you don't have to wonder who to vote for, there will only be one guy left! Now that Oscar Pistorius has been sentenced (again) and is off to jail (again), we need a new reality TV show. And just think how exciting this one will be!
I realise that I joke about the political situation in South Africa quite frequently, but that is because, to the rest of the world, it has become a joke. Even we who live in South Africa can't take it seriously. Just now the guy you voted for uses your tax money to build a massive house and install a fire pool. For those who don't know, a fire pool is like a swimming pool, except for the......no, wait, it is just a swimming pool. Trevor Noah, the South African comedian who now hosts The Daily Show in the USA, once stated that politicians are taking the local comedians' jobs away from them by being just as funny, if not funnier, than said local comedians. It is no wonder the world is laughing.....
THE POLITICAL PARTY HUNGER GAMES
I realise that I joke about the political situation in South Africa quite frequently, but that is because, to the rest of the world, it has become a joke. Even we who live in South Africa can't take it seriously. Just now the guy you voted for uses your tax money to build a massive house and install a fire pool. For those who don't know, a fire pool is like a swimming pool, except for the......no, wait, it is just a swimming pool. Trevor Noah, the South African comedian who now hosts The Daily Show in the USA, once stated that politicians are taking the local comedians' jobs away from them by being just as funny, if not funnier, than said local comedians. It is no wonder the world is laughing.....
Monday, 4 July 2016
Having a Meltdown
I am a big fan of world history. Whether it be the two world wars, the moon landing, the time the rebels overthrew the Galactic Empire.....I enjoy reading about it all. One event in particular has always fascinated me, the nuclear explosion at Chernobyl. For those of you who are now looking at your screen scratching your head in confusion, let me elaborate. On the 26th of April 1986 a scheduled reactor shutdown at the Chernobyl nuclear facility in the USSR went disastrously wrong, costing 31 people their lives and causing the evacuation of an entire city. To this day the city remains under quarantine because of the high levels of radiation still present.
"Wow, that is terrible!" you exclaim. And yes, it was. But when you read up about the details, you realise that it was just one mistake after another that caused the disaster. Let's dig a little deeper.
In steady state operation, a significant fraction (just over 6%) of the power from a nuclear reactor is derived not from fission but from the decay heat of its accumulated fission products. This heat continues for some time after the chain reaction is stopped (following an emergency shutdown, for example) and active cooling may be required to prevent core damage. Old reactors like those at Chernobyl use water as a coolant. Reactor 4 at Chernobyl consisted of about 1,600 individual fuel channels; each requiring a coolant flow of 28 metric tons (28,000 liters) per hour. Since cooling pumps require electricity to cool a reactor after an emergency shutdown (SCRAM), in the event of a power grid failure, Chernobyl's reactors had three backup diesel generators; these could start up in 15 seconds, but took 60–75 seconds to attain full speed and reach the 5.5‑megawatt (MW) output required to run one main pump. To solve this one-minute gap, considered an unacceptable safety risk, it had been theorised that rotational energy from the steam turbine (as it spun down under residual steam pressure) could be used to generate the required electrical power. Analysis indicated that this residual momentum and steam pressure might be sufficient to run the coolant pumps for 45 seconds, thus bridging the gap between an external power failure and the full availability of the emergency generators. Now, because this was just a theory, it was only marginally tested, and those tests failed. So another test was scheduled.
This test focused on the switching sequences of the electrical supplies for the reactor. The test procedure was expected to begin with an automatic emergency shutdown. No detrimental effect on the safety of the reactor was expected, so the test program was not formally coordinated with either the chief designer of the reactor or the scientific manager. Instead, it was approved only by the director of the plant (and even this approval was not consistent with established procedures). Mistake number 1. Because, you know, Russia....where everything is alright with enough vodka.
The experimental procedure was intended to run as follows:
At this point, another regional power station unexpectedly went offline, and the Kiev electrical grid controller requested that the further reduction of Chernobyl's output be postponed, as power was needed to satisfy the peak evening demand. The Chernobyl plant director agreed, and postponed the test. Despite this delay, preparations for the test not affecting the reactor's power were carried out, including the disabling of the emergency core cooling system or ECCS, a passive/active system of core cooling intended to provide water to the core in a loss-of-coolant accident. Given the other events that unfolded, the system would have been of limited use, but its disabling as a "routine" step of the test is an illustration of the inherent lack of attention to safety for this test. Mistake number 2.
At 23:04, the Kiev grid controller allowed the reactor shutdown to resume. This delay had some serious consequences: the day shift had long since buggered off home, the evening shift was also preparing to do the same, and the night shift would not take over until midnight, well into the test. According to plan, the test should have been finished during the day shift, and the night shift would only have had to maintain decay heat cooling systems in an otherwise shut-down plant. Because of this the night shift had very little time to prepare for the test.
Alexander Akimov was chief of the night shift, and Leonid Toptunov was the operator responsible for the reactor's operational regimen, including the movement of the control rods. Toptunov was a young engineer who had worked independently as a senior engineer for only about three months. Seems like exactly the right guy for the job!
The test plan called for a gradual decrease in power output from reactor 4 to a thermal level of 700–1000 MW. An output of 700 MW was reached at 00:05AM on 26 April. However, due to the reactor's production of a fission byproduct, xenon-135, which is a reaction-inhibiting neutron absorber, core power continued to decrease without further operator action—a process known as reactor poisoning. This continuing decrease in power occurred because in steady state operation, xenon-135 is "burned off" as fast as it is created from decaying iodine-135 by absorbing neutrons from the ongoing chain reaction to become highly stable xenon-136. However, when the reactor power was lowered, previously produced high quantities of iodine-135 decayed into the neutron-absorbing xenon-135 faster than the reduced neutron flux could burn it off. As the reactor power output dropped further, to approximately 500 MW, Toptunov mistakenly inserted the control rods too far—the exact circumstances leading to this are unknown because Akimov and Toptunov both died in the hospital on May 10 and 14, respectively. This combination of factors put the reactor into an unintended near-shutdown state, with a power output of 30 MW thermal or less. Mistake number 3.
The reactor was now producing 5 percent of the minimum initial power level established as safe for the test. Control-room personnel decided to restore power by disabling the automatic system governing the control rods and manually extracting the majority of the reactor control rods to their upper limits. Several minutes elapsed between their extraction and the point that the power output began to increase and subsequently stabilize at 160–200 MW, a much smaller value than the planned 700 MW. The rapid reduction in the power during the initial shutdown, and the subsequent operation at a level of less than 200 MW led to increased poisoning of the reactor core by the accumulation of xenon-135. This restricted any further rise of reactor power, and made it necessary to extract additional control rods from the reactor core in order to counteract the poisoning.
The operation of the reactor at the low power level and high poisoning level was accompanied by unstable core temperature and coolant flow, and possibly by instability of neutron flux, which triggered alarms. The control room received repeated emergency signals regarding the levels in the steam/water separator drums, and large excursions or variations in the flow rate of feed water, as well as from relief valves opened to relieve excess steam into a turbine condenser, and from the neutron power controller. In the period between 00:35AM and 00:45AM, emergency alarm signals concerning thermal-hydraulic parameters were ignored, apparently to preserve the reactor power level. Mistake number 4.
When the power level of 200 MW was eventually achieved, preparation for the experiment continued. (This was probably mistake number 5) As part of the test plan, extra water pumps were activated at 01:05AM on 26 April, increasing the water flow. The increased coolant flow rate through the reactor produced an increase in the inlet coolant temperature of the reactor core (the coolant no longer having sufficient time to release its heat in the turbine and cooling towers), which now more closely approached the boiling temperature of water, reducing the safety margin. Mistake number 6.
The flow exceeded the allowed limit at 01:19AM, triggering an alarm of low steam pressure in the steam separators. At the same time, the extra water flow lowered the overall core temperature and reduced the existing steam voids in the core and the steam separators. Since water weakly absorbs neutrons (and the higher density of liquid water makes it a better absorber than steam), turning on additional pumps decreased the reactor power further still. The crew responded by turning off two of the circulation pumps to reduce feedwater flow, in an effort to increase steam pressure, and also to remove more manual control rods to maintain power. Mistake number 7.
All these actions led to an extremely unstable reactor configuration. Nearly all of the control rods were removed manually, including all but 18 of the "fail-safe" manually operated rods of the minimal 28 which were intended to remain fully inserted to control the reactor even in the event of a loss of coolant, out of a total 211 control rods. While the emergency SCRAM system that would insert all control rods to shut down the reactor could still be activated manually, the automated system that could do the same had been disabled to maintain the power level, and many other automated and even passive safety features of the reactor had been bypassed. Further, the reactor coolant pumping had been reduced, which had limited margin so any power excursion would produce boiling, thereby reducing neutron absorption by the water. The reactor was in an unstable configuration that was clearly outside the safe operating envelope established by the designers. If anything pushed it too far, it would be unable to recover automatically.
Now, at this point any wise person would realise that, maybe, just maybe, a very dangerous situation had now been created, and said wise person would have initiated steps in order to secure the situation. What did the Russians do? They declared that all was well and then went ahead with their experiment. I could carry on with the extremely technical explanation of what went wrong, but half of you have either dosed off or browsed away by now, so let's just say there was a rather large and impressive explosion. The reactor was spewing radioactive material into the night sky and causing fires all around the plant. The Russians thought "Well, we'd better put out those fires" and proceeded to do just that, without any safety gear or radiation suits. The fire brigade was also not informed about the radiation pouring from the reactor when they arrived to help. So a large number of people received MASSIVE doses of radiation which killed some within hours and some within days of exposure. To this day the Government does not allow anyone to go within 30 square kilometers of the reactor for more than a few minutes. This is to ensure that you don't come out with three heads, the ability to glow in the dark and various other superpowers.
So what can we learn from this? That lack of attention to detail and ignoring some very obvious warning signs can lead to terrible disaster. One which will have serious repercussions for years to come. Now if only someone would mention this to the South African Government.....
"Wow, that is terrible!" you exclaim. And yes, it was. But when you read up about the details, you realise that it was just one mistake after another that caused the disaster. Let's dig a little deeper.
WARNING: THIS POST IS ABOUT TO GET HIGHLY TECHNICAL AND EXTREMELY INFORMATIVE
In steady state operation, a significant fraction (just over 6%) of the power from a nuclear reactor is derived not from fission but from the decay heat of its accumulated fission products. This heat continues for some time after the chain reaction is stopped (following an emergency shutdown, for example) and active cooling may be required to prevent core damage. Old reactors like those at Chernobyl use water as a coolant. Reactor 4 at Chernobyl consisted of about 1,600 individual fuel channels; each requiring a coolant flow of 28 metric tons (28,000 liters) per hour. Since cooling pumps require electricity to cool a reactor after an emergency shutdown (SCRAM), in the event of a power grid failure, Chernobyl's reactors had three backup diesel generators; these could start up in 15 seconds, but took 60–75 seconds to attain full speed and reach the 5.5‑megawatt (MW) output required to run one main pump. To solve this one-minute gap, considered an unacceptable safety risk, it had been theorised that rotational energy from the steam turbine (as it spun down under residual steam pressure) could be used to generate the required electrical power. Analysis indicated that this residual momentum and steam pressure might be sufficient to run the coolant pumps for 45 seconds, thus bridging the gap between an external power failure and the full availability of the emergency generators. Now, because this was just a theory, it was only marginally tested, and those tests failed. So another test was scheduled.
This test focused on the switching sequences of the electrical supplies for the reactor. The test procedure was expected to begin with an automatic emergency shutdown. No detrimental effect on the safety of the reactor was expected, so the test program was not formally coordinated with either the chief designer of the reactor or the scientific manager. Instead, it was approved only by the director of the plant (and even this approval was not consistent with established procedures). Mistake number 1. Because, you know, Russia....where everything is alright with enough vodka.
The experimental procedure was intended to run as follows:
- The reactor was to be running at a low power level, between 700 MW and 800 MW.
- The steam-turbine generator was to be run up to full speed.
- When these conditions were achieved, the steam supply for the turbine generator was to be closed off.
Turbine generator performance was to be recorded to determine whether it could provide the bridging power for coolant pumps until the emergency diesel generators were sequenced to start and provide power to the cooling pumps automatically. - After the emergency generators reached normal operating speed and voltage, the turbine generator would be allowed to continue to freewheel down.
At this point, another regional power station unexpectedly went offline, and the Kiev electrical grid controller requested that the further reduction of Chernobyl's output be postponed, as power was needed to satisfy the peak evening demand. The Chernobyl plant director agreed, and postponed the test. Despite this delay, preparations for the test not affecting the reactor's power were carried out, including the disabling of the emergency core cooling system or ECCS, a passive/active system of core cooling intended to provide water to the core in a loss-of-coolant accident. Given the other events that unfolded, the system would have been of limited use, but its disabling as a "routine" step of the test is an illustration of the inherent lack of attention to safety for this test. Mistake number 2.
At 23:04, the Kiev grid controller allowed the reactor shutdown to resume. This delay had some serious consequences: the day shift had long since buggered off home, the evening shift was also preparing to do the same, and the night shift would not take over until midnight, well into the test. According to plan, the test should have been finished during the day shift, and the night shift would only have had to maintain decay heat cooling systems in an otherwise shut-down plant. Because of this the night shift had very little time to prepare for the test.
Alexander Akimov was chief of the night shift, and Leonid Toptunov was the operator responsible for the reactor's operational regimen, including the movement of the control rods. Toptunov was a young engineer who had worked independently as a senior engineer for only about three months. Seems like exactly the right guy for the job!
The test plan called for a gradual decrease in power output from reactor 4 to a thermal level of 700–1000 MW. An output of 700 MW was reached at 00:05AM on 26 April. However, due to the reactor's production of a fission byproduct, xenon-135, which is a reaction-inhibiting neutron absorber, core power continued to decrease without further operator action—a process known as reactor poisoning. This continuing decrease in power occurred because in steady state operation, xenon-135 is "burned off" as fast as it is created from decaying iodine-135 by absorbing neutrons from the ongoing chain reaction to become highly stable xenon-136. However, when the reactor power was lowered, previously produced high quantities of iodine-135 decayed into the neutron-absorbing xenon-135 faster than the reduced neutron flux could burn it off. As the reactor power output dropped further, to approximately 500 MW, Toptunov mistakenly inserted the control rods too far—the exact circumstances leading to this are unknown because Akimov and Toptunov both died in the hospital on May 10 and 14, respectively. This combination of factors put the reactor into an unintended near-shutdown state, with a power output of 30 MW thermal or less. Mistake number 3.
The reactor was now producing 5 percent of the minimum initial power level established as safe for the test. Control-room personnel decided to restore power by disabling the automatic system governing the control rods and manually extracting the majority of the reactor control rods to their upper limits. Several minutes elapsed between their extraction and the point that the power output began to increase and subsequently stabilize at 160–200 MW, a much smaller value than the planned 700 MW. The rapid reduction in the power during the initial shutdown, and the subsequent operation at a level of less than 200 MW led to increased poisoning of the reactor core by the accumulation of xenon-135. This restricted any further rise of reactor power, and made it necessary to extract additional control rods from the reactor core in order to counteract the poisoning.
The operation of the reactor at the low power level and high poisoning level was accompanied by unstable core temperature and coolant flow, and possibly by instability of neutron flux, which triggered alarms. The control room received repeated emergency signals regarding the levels in the steam/water separator drums, and large excursions or variations in the flow rate of feed water, as well as from relief valves opened to relieve excess steam into a turbine condenser, and from the neutron power controller. In the period between 00:35AM and 00:45AM, emergency alarm signals concerning thermal-hydraulic parameters were ignored, apparently to preserve the reactor power level. Mistake number 4.
When the power level of 200 MW was eventually achieved, preparation for the experiment continued. (This was probably mistake number 5) As part of the test plan, extra water pumps were activated at 01:05AM on 26 April, increasing the water flow. The increased coolant flow rate through the reactor produced an increase in the inlet coolant temperature of the reactor core (the coolant no longer having sufficient time to release its heat in the turbine and cooling towers), which now more closely approached the boiling temperature of water, reducing the safety margin. Mistake number 6.
The flow exceeded the allowed limit at 01:19AM, triggering an alarm of low steam pressure in the steam separators. At the same time, the extra water flow lowered the overall core temperature and reduced the existing steam voids in the core and the steam separators. Since water weakly absorbs neutrons (and the higher density of liquid water makes it a better absorber than steam), turning on additional pumps decreased the reactor power further still. The crew responded by turning off two of the circulation pumps to reduce feedwater flow, in an effort to increase steam pressure, and also to remove more manual control rods to maintain power. Mistake number 7.
All these actions led to an extremely unstable reactor configuration. Nearly all of the control rods were removed manually, including all but 18 of the "fail-safe" manually operated rods of the minimal 28 which were intended to remain fully inserted to control the reactor even in the event of a loss of coolant, out of a total 211 control rods. While the emergency SCRAM system that would insert all control rods to shut down the reactor could still be activated manually, the automated system that could do the same had been disabled to maintain the power level, and many other automated and even passive safety features of the reactor had been bypassed. Further, the reactor coolant pumping had been reduced, which had limited margin so any power excursion would produce boiling, thereby reducing neutron absorption by the water. The reactor was in an unstable configuration that was clearly outside the safe operating envelope established by the designers. If anything pushed it too far, it would be unable to recover automatically.
Now, at this point any wise person would realise that, maybe, just maybe, a very dangerous situation had now been created, and said wise person would have initiated steps in order to secure the situation. What did the Russians do? They declared that all was well and then went ahead with their experiment. I could carry on with the extremely technical explanation of what went wrong, but half of you have either dosed off or browsed away by now, so let's just say there was a rather large and impressive explosion. The reactor was spewing radioactive material into the night sky and causing fires all around the plant. The Russians thought "Well, we'd better put out those fires" and proceeded to do just that, without any safety gear or radiation suits. The fire brigade was also not informed about the radiation pouring from the reactor when they arrived to help. So a large number of people received MASSIVE doses of radiation which killed some within hours and some within days of exposure. To this day the Government does not allow anyone to go within 30 square kilometers of the reactor for more than a few minutes. This is to ensure that you don't come out with three heads, the ability to glow in the dark and various other superpowers.
So what can we learn from this? That lack of attention to detail and ignoring some very obvious warning signs can lead to terrible disaster. One which will have serious repercussions for years to come. Now if only someone would mention this to the South African Government.....
Wednesday, 29 June 2016
Cooking Up a Storm
Who doesn't love a good meal? One prepared skillfully and thoughtfully. One that satisfies you in ways that nothing else can. I am a big fan of cooking, even though I sometimes come up with dishes that look and taste more like biological weapons than food. Not too long ago I tried my hand at making pea soup. Simple, yet delicious. Well, that was the idea anyway. The end result was.....um.....well......boring. It needed a massive amount of salt, pepper and Worcestershire Sauce to even start resembling something that you'd actually want to eat. And even then you ended up like this...
A while back I sat thinking back to the golden days of my youth (stop laughing, it wasn't THAT long ago). My grandfather used to make a pretty decent shrimp cocktail as an appetizer for Sunday lunches. I thought to myself "How hard can it be?" and bought the necessary ingredients. Well, in my mind anyway. After much measuring, adding, chanting and dancing my meal was complete. And it was terrible! Instead of ending up with a much loved childhood meal, I ended up with the edible equivalent of nerve gas.
Thankfully not all of my attempts at rustling up a good meal have ended so disastrously. Some of them have actually yielded some pretty awesome dishes. And needless to say, those are the ones I share with friends and family. That way they know that I can actually do something worthwhile in the kitchen, and that I am not secretly living on a diet of KFC and burgers. Of course, there is a slight downside to having good food. And it is one that we have to consider whenever we bite into something gloriously rich and creamy......
A while back I sat thinking back to the golden days of my youth (stop laughing, it wasn't THAT long ago). My grandfather used to make a pretty decent shrimp cocktail as an appetizer for Sunday lunches. I thought to myself "How hard can it be?" and bought the necessary ingredients. Well, in my mind anyway. After much measuring, adding, chanting and dancing my meal was complete. And it was terrible! Instead of ending up with a much loved childhood meal, I ended up with the edible equivalent of nerve gas.
Thankfully not all of my attempts at rustling up a good meal have ended so disastrously. Some of them have actually yielded some pretty awesome dishes. And needless to say, those are the ones I share with friends and family. That way they know that I can actually do something worthwhile in the kitchen, and that I am not secretly living on a diet of KFC and burgers. Of course, there is a slight downside to having good food. And it is one that we have to consider whenever we bite into something gloriously rich and creamy......
Tuesday, 21 June 2016
Giddy-Up!
There is a saying that goes: "When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount." Many people will read this and nod sagely. I have a slight problem with this saying as I fail to see how you wouldn't notice that the horse you are sitting on has dropped dead. There are a few clues to give this fact away. First off, the horse is probably not moving. That is okay, it might have stopped for a breather. Secondly, there is a good chance that the horse is on its side. Okay, fair enough, it might need a substantial breather. But thirdly, the horse is most likely partially on top of you at this point, so you have to be monumentally stupid not to notice that said horse is actually dead.
Now I understand that you will say "Yes, but this is an analogy that states that, if you are participating in a lost cause, your best chance of success is to stop doing it." Alright, fair enough. And it makes a lot of sense. But apparently not to the South African Government. They have failed to notice that the recently deceased horse is lying on top of them, and have resorted to various tactics:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And, of course...
13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
While I understand that no Government is perfect, I fail to see how the people in power in South Africa can look at a situation that is clearly not working, nod to themselves, proclaim that everything is going according to plan, and then buggering off to lunch. Einstein once declared that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. By that definition our Government needs a new clothing accessory. One that you wear as a jacket, that fastens in the back, and makes you hug yourself......
Now I understand that you will say "Yes, but this is an analogy that states that, if you are participating in a lost cause, your best chance of success is to stop doing it." Alright, fair enough. And it makes a lot of sense. But apparently not to the South African Government. They have failed to notice that the recently deceased horse is lying on top of them, and have resorted to various tactics:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
4. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses.
5. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
6. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
8. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed.
9. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
10. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance.
11. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses.
12. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
And, of course...
13. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
While I understand that no Government is perfect, I fail to see how the people in power in South Africa can look at a situation that is clearly not working, nod to themselves, proclaim that everything is going according to plan, and then buggering off to lunch. Einstein once declared that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. By that definition our Government needs a new clothing accessory. One that you wear as a jacket, that fastens in the back, and makes you hug yourself......
Monday, 13 June 2016
Adrenaline
This weekend my dad decided to treat myself and my two future brothers-in-law to the Airlink Adrenaline Show held at Wonderboom airport. It was a unique show featuring a blend of airplane stunts and car stunts, and it was all terribly exciting. They had everything from choppers flying sideways and even backwards to a jet car tearing down the runway at tremendous speed.
If walking around looking at various muscle cars, supercars and hotrods are more your thing, they had plenty of those as well. Every few minutes you would hear someone start up something with a massive engine and rev it much to the delight of spectators and passers-by. At some point we too decided to join the masses wandering aimlessly around and found ourselves at the supercar display. Unlike the muscle cars which were standing around with people thronged tightly around them, the supercars were cordoned off, to keep you from drooling on the paintwork. Now, my one future brother-in-law is slightly obsessed with Lamborghini. And when I say slightly obsessed, I mean that he would happily sell off a kidney, part of his digestive tract and even a lung in order to own one. I'm pretty sure that, when pressed, he would also throw in a testicle just to sweeten the deal. So the sight of a Lamborghini Huracan displayed in all its magnificent glory had him frothing at the mouth.
He declared that he was going to go find the organisers in order to get permission to have his photo taken next to it. After a brief absence he came back and declared that he had been given the go-ahead and promptly ducked under the rope before striking a heroic pose while leaning on the 6 million rand supercar for a photo. After snapping a picture of him reclining against a car that costs more than feeding most third world countries, he then had to scamper off when a gigantic bouncer appeared and approached my future brother-in-law with a look of deadly intent in his eyes. After a quick exit, I was left wondering if the organisers had in fact given permission or whether they had laughed off the request, at which point he decided to take matters, and his life, into his own hands. For the rest of the day I half expected the bouncer to jump out of the shadows, grab my future brother-in-law in a headlock and drag him away, leaving me to explain to my sister why she won't be getting married in a few months.
But all things considered, it was quite an eventful day. Pilots and drivers showed off their tremendous skill, man and machine working in perfect harmony. It was breathtaking! And the day lived up to its name, even though the biggest jolt of adrenaline was caused by being chased by a big man with evil intentions......
If walking around looking at various muscle cars, supercars and hotrods are more your thing, they had plenty of those as well. Every few minutes you would hear someone start up something with a massive engine and rev it much to the delight of spectators and passers-by. At some point we too decided to join the masses wandering aimlessly around and found ourselves at the supercar display. Unlike the muscle cars which were standing around with people thronged tightly around them, the supercars were cordoned off, to keep you from drooling on the paintwork. Now, my one future brother-in-law is slightly obsessed with Lamborghini. And when I say slightly obsessed, I mean that he would happily sell off a kidney, part of his digestive tract and even a lung in order to own one. I'm pretty sure that, when pressed, he would also throw in a testicle just to sweeten the deal. So the sight of a Lamborghini Huracan displayed in all its magnificent glory had him frothing at the mouth.
He declared that he was going to go find the organisers in order to get permission to have his photo taken next to it. After a brief absence he came back and declared that he had been given the go-ahead and promptly ducked under the rope before striking a heroic pose while leaning on the 6 million rand supercar for a photo. After snapping a picture of him reclining against a car that costs more than feeding most third world countries, he then had to scamper off when a gigantic bouncer appeared and approached my future brother-in-law with a look of deadly intent in his eyes. After a quick exit, I was left wondering if the organisers had in fact given permission or whether they had laughed off the request, at which point he decided to take matters, and his life, into his own hands. For the rest of the day I half expected the bouncer to jump out of the shadows, grab my future brother-in-law in a headlock and drag him away, leaving me to explain to my sister why she won't be getting married in a few months.
But all things considered, it was quite an eventful day. Pilots and drivers showed off their tremendous skill, man and machine working in perfect harmony. It was breathtaking! And the day lived up to its name, even though the biggest jolt of adrenaline was caused by being chased by a big man with evil intentions......
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