Doomed! Or are we?

Just when we thought South Africa couldn't get any stranger, news reports have surfaced about a Pastor in Limpopo using aerosol insect killer to heal his congregants. And how does he do it? Does he mix it with special herbs and spices and feed it to them? Does he dilute it in a special liquid and sprinkle it over them? No, he sprays it on them. Directly in their faces in most cases.

Let's take a look at the situation. Doom is a South African insecticide meant for killing spiders, cockroaches, ants, moths, flies, mosquitoes and a variety of other creepy crawlies that managed to find their way into your home. And it is meant to do so quickly and efficiently. No questions asked. So when it was revealed that a Pastor was dousing his congregation in it in order to "heal" them, the internet jumped on it faster than a playful cat on a bare ankle.

I know that a lot of Pastors like to preach Doom and Gloom, but this one takes it rather literally. And when asked about it, he responds like most way-out-there Pastors do, namely God told him to do it. Now, don't get me wrong. I absolutely believe in the healing power of God. I'm just not entirely certain about having to be sprayed in the face with insecticide in order to receive it.

I wish I could say that we all just misunderstand this guy. That maybe he saw a fly hovering around on a hot day, grabbed a can of Doom and gave it a good spraying. Unfortunately a worshipper was in the way and he had to come up with an excuse. But no, he believes in his methods all the way. I know that I do not possess infinite wisdom or vast archives of knowledge, but I cannot fathom how this works. I mean, what is a Sunday service like in that church?

Pastor sprays a worshipper in the face. There is thud as the worshipper hits the ground.
"There we go, she is healed!" the Pastor exclaims.
"Um, Pastor? She's dead." a deacon would announce.
"Yes, but she is not sick anymore, is she!"

Call me old fashioned, but I think I shall just stick to my own church, if you don't mind.....