A Beautiful Mind

I saw a post on Facebook that had me chuckling:

I was laughing, not because it seems absurd, but because I can identify with it completely! To me, mathematics has always been in the same league as other major human mysteries, such as "How to win arguments with women" and "How can a toddler that is 3 feet tall end up at the top of a gigantic tree in under 10 seconds". I am convinced that mathematics is actually a secret Nazi plot to mess with us all!

I once did a maths exam where the only thing I got right on the entire maths paper was my name. And that was it. Afterwards the teacher asked to speak to me and advised me to never ever take up any profession that requires mathematics. On that day I decided that it sounded like a very wise suggestion and I have since followed it wholeheartedly.

I have to admit, I do know one or two people that are good at maths. They can do extremely complicated calculations in their mind and get the answer right every time. And I have decided that they are not from our humble little planet. They probably come from some obscure planet in a far-off galaxy that no-one has ever heard of or cared about. And maths is part of their language. That is how they communicate with one another. Some poor unlucky soul probably just happened to overhear a conversation and thought "Now that sounds interesting!" If you want further proof that aliens exist and influence our culture significantly, look at dubstep. I am convinced it was actually alien communication sent to Earth in order to make contact but people started dancing to it instead.

Further proof that maths is some sort of supernatural torture is its effect on the space-time continuum. It can actually make time slow down. Just take those last five minutes of maths class on a Friday afternoon and you will know exactly what I am talking about!

Currently in South Africa there is a major trend where everything must fall. Fees must fall, Data must fall, Science must fall. And while I don't agree with how the people go about demonstrating their displeasure with things that must fall, if someone comes up with Maths must fall, I will wholeheartedly stand with them!