The Black Plague

Normally the title of this post would call up images of the most devastating pandemic in human history. One that killed an estimated 200 million people in the years 1346 to 1353. While tragic, it is not that specific black plague that I am referring to. No, I am referring to this one....

I am currently struggling with an ant infestation. It seems that there are ants everywhere! And I have tried a variety of methods of ridding myself of them. Ant Traps, which are containers carrying a poisonous fluid that ants can take into their nest, killing it from the inside. They were interested in it for about two weeks, and then started ignoring it after it gave them heartburn. It didn't seem to do anything other than annoy them! Aerosol poisons like Doom and Raid managed to kill a few of them, but because of the sheer volume of ants in my dwelling place it was like throwing water balloons at an elephant. Very ineffective! "Try cinnamon. Ants don't like cinnamon," someone suggested. Apart from making my place smell like a pancake factory, it didn't do much to deter them. Baby powder was another suggestion, but it too was ineffective.

I realise that ants have a very important role to play in the Circle of Life. ("Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba!"....okay, I'll stop now) For those who have no idea what just happened, click here. I realise that they are an intricate part of nature. In certain African countries army ants are used as surgical sutures. Here in South Africa ants are used to harvest Rooibos seeds. Weaver ants in China are used to control pests that threaten crops. So they definitely have their uses. Just not in my house. It seems that I can't escape them! While I'm taking a bath they will all line up along the side of the bathtub and stare at me. I too find the human body fascinating and beautiful but the way they watch me with their beady little black eyes is unnerving! Are they admiring me? Are they trying to share thoughts and insights? Are they trying to eat me? Who knows! Once, I tried to ignore their constant staring and continue with my bathing, not noticing that one had taken a dive into my bathwater. But I noticed it rather quickly when it clamped onto my genitals and refused to let go! I had to completely maim it in order to free my pained man-bits from its vice-like grip!

It is estimated that there are around 1 million ants for every human being on the planet. They occur on every single landmass except Antarctica. And they can adapt to changing environments like no other species on Earth. So it seems highly unlikely that I will get them to stop staring at me during bath-time! When faced with such overwhelming odds there is but one thing you can do.....