Sense? This Makes None!

I am a big fan of video games. To play a video game is to be transported to another world, one where you can slay dragons or fight armies. You can immerse yourself in a world of fantasy and escape from your daily routine for a while. Certain games are also breathtaking to look at. One of my favourites is Skyrim, the fifth game in The Elder Scrolls series. Just look at this view!

Who wouldn't want to take a stroll through that?! But something that is bugging me, and has bugged me for a while, is the in-game logic when it comes to healing your character. In games like Call of Duty or Half-Life you get healed by med stations or by picking up med-kits. This makes sense to me, but in games like the original side-scrolling Duke Nukem, the Wolfenstein series and in Skyrim, you eat something to heal your character. How does that make sense? Where in the real world, after you are stabbed or shot, do you quickly drive to the nearest KFC, munch on a Boxmaster and you are fine again?! How did the video game creators come up with this plan? I do realise that video games are fantasy, but in games like Wolfenstein and Skyrim you do actually have alternative ways of healing your character, so why not stick to that?

Speaking of Skyrim, you can actually carry a bewildering amount of food with you, enough to feed yourself and all of the bandits/mages/thieves that are attacking you. But just imagine that scene; you are in the middle of an epic fight for your life when you realise your health is running low, so you loudly yell "WAIT!" and all combat stops. Your opponents look at you in puzzlement while you open your knapsack and start munching your way through its contents. Eating food to heal yourself in Skyrim is a slow process, as food only heals you slightly, so you have to consume quite a large amount in order for it to make any difference. So all of your attackers are standing around awkwardly while you engage in a mid-combat picnic.

Now, I don't know about you, but after eating a large meal (usually around Christmas time) I don't feel like moving, much less getting up and fighting a rampaging barbarian horde! So that also doesn't make sense! And the vast array of food you can carry with you is mind-boggling! Most of the meals you carry with you are cooked in-game from ingredients that you purchase or gather in the wild. Everything from apple pie to stews and soups! And you have to cook/bake it yourself! Half the time you don't know whether you are playing Skyrim or participating in some weird virtual episode of MasterChef! Technically your character should end up looking something like this....

One of the most famous lines uttered by a random guard (which spawned a massive amount of internet memes) is "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow in the knee." I firmly believe this should be changed to "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I ate too much and now I have to watch my cholesterol."