Power Up

My lovely lady and I were chatting the other day and the question of super powers came up. What super power would you choose if you could have any super power? Invisibility is at the top of the list, along with the ability to not go into a boiling rage when the taxi driver decides to park his beaten up minibus in the middle of the intersection so that one person can take an eternity to get in/out. But that got me thinking, what are the strangest super powers to ever grace comic books? I was very surprised when I looked it up!

1. Matter-Eater Lad
Matter-Eater Lad is from the planet Bismoll, where poisonous microbes made all food inedible, forcing the planet's inhabitants to evolve to have the ability to eat any form of matter. Matter-Eater Lad can also eat at super-speeds and consume matter otherwise thought to be indestructible, meaning that theoretically, he could eat Superman.

2. Bouncing Boy
Bouncing Boy made his comic book debut in 1961 after young Chuck Taine accidentally drank an experimental super-plastic formula he mistook for soda pop. He then gained the ability to inflate his body like a ball and bounce around without injury.

3. Arm-Fall-Off Boy
Arm-Fall-Off Boy's power stems from his ability to -- you guessed it -- detach his limbs and use them to beat evil-doers. Sadly, he was denied entry into the Legion Of Super-Heroes, despite the group inducting the likes of Matter-Eater Lad and Bouncing Boy. By all accounts, Arm-Fall-Off Boy was intended to be a joke character, and he very much was.

4. Squirrel Girl
This crime-fighting high-schooler can communicate with squirrels, but also has super strength, super speed and a retractable knuckle spike. She consumes macadamia nuts for extra strength and even has a squirrel sidekick. Squirrel Girl's crowning achievement is her defeat of the infamous Doctor Doom after she, umm, overwhelmed him with squirrels.

5. Red Bee
When Rick Raleigh isn't working as the assistant to Superior City's District Attorney, he's fighting crime under the guise of Red Bee. Red Bee has a swarm of trained bees stored in his belt to unleash on criminals at the ready. It is unknown how he trained the bees or how he is able to keep them in his belt (don't ask too many questions) but Red Bee is not to be confused with Yellowjacket, who can also control bees.

6. Zeitgeist
Alex Cluney has a very distinctive mutant power which enables him to spew acidic vomit from his mouth. Tragically, he discovered his power while making out with a girl; he vomited acid all over her and burned her face (thankfully she survived). His vomit is highly acidic, able to burn through 10-centimetre-thick steel in less than 30 seconds. Hopefully he also carries mints.

7. Infectious Lass
Drura Sehpt hails from the planet Somahtur, whose inhabitants can easily infect others with various diseases while they themselves remain immune to its effects. After travelling to Earth, Drura became Infectious Lass and began fighting crime, although her powers sometimes do as much harm as they do good, especially when she accidentally infects other heroes with illnesses.

8. Color Kid
Ulu Vakk was just a normal guy until a beam of multi-coloured light from another dimension struck him, thereby giving him the superpower to change to the colour of anything he wants.

9. Rainbow Girl
Dori Aandraison, also known as Rainbow Girl, can wield the mysterious power of the Emotional Spectrum, meaning that she has the ability to give herself unpredictable mood swings (ladies, amiright?!). Having always wanted to become an actress, she aspired to join the Legion Of Super Heroes in order to gain notoriety, but instead had to settle for the Legion Of Substitute Heroes.

10. Anarchist
Anarchist, one of the founding members of the X-Statix mutant superhero group, has the ability to secrete acidic sweat. His sweat allows him to project acidic blasts of energy. He and Zeitgeist should probably talk.

11. Dead Girl
Dead Girl's mutant powers were activated by her death (there's a shocker) which allowed her to continuously reanimate her corpse and come back to life, essentially making her immortal. Additionally, she can communicate with other dead beings, survive without any food, water or oxygen, and control severed parts of her body. And guys, she's (unsurprisingly) single.

12. Stone Boy
Dag Wentim is a native of the planet Zwen, where people developed the ability to turn themselves into stone for long periods of hibernation. Originally, he was unable to move in his stone form and was only able to transform into an immovable, nearly indestructible statue of himself, which was not very useful in battle (his teammates would sometimes drop him on villains). However, he eventually gained the ability to move while in his stone state.

13. Brother Power the Geek
Brother Power The Geek was originally just a mannequin in a tailor's shop. One day the mannequin was struck by lightning, which somehow not only brought it to life, but also gave it super powers. He may not look very formidable, but he has super strength and is nearly indestructible, though he is portrayed as a pacifist. (The original comic book debuted in 1968 and only lasted two issues before being cancelled.)

14. El Guapo
Robbie Rodriguez, a member of the X-Statix mutant group, has no discernible powers aside from a telepathic connection to a flying, seemingly sentient skateboard. He can control the skateboard with his mind, though the skateboard can also act through his subconscious thoughts. Sadly, after the skateboard falls under a curse, it flies out of control and impales El Guapo through the heart, killing him. Ironic, isn't it?

15. Jazz
Jazz appears to be a very special case in the X-Men universe due to the fact that his genetic mutation is not a power, but rather a change to his physical appearance, resulting in his skin turning blue. He has no other discernible powers or abilities. However, he is an aspiring rapper.

Somehow I am not very surprised that we never see the above heroes in any of the Avengers, Justice League or X-Men films.....