Shower Thoughts

Recently I came across an article listing some "shower thoughts" that a selection of people shared online. Shower thoughts are defined as the strange and unusual thoughts that some people have while in the shower. And I'm not one to knock that, since most of my blog posts and short stories have their origin in a room filled with steam and whatever soap I have handy at that point! Without further ado, herewith some of the best Shower Thoughts I have found online so far....

"Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but there are no enemies."

"When we're young, we sneak out our house to go to parties. When we're old, we sneak out of parties to go home."

"There should be a reality show where flat-earthers have to find the edge of the world."

"If you run at 11pm you are a night person. If you run at 5am you are a morning person. If you run at 3am you are a suspicious person."

"Maybe dogs bring home sticks because that was bred into them over millennia of humans needing wood for fires."

"You know you've reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner."

"A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you."

"8 hours of drinking is binge drinking, 8 hours of TV is binge watching, 8 hours of sleep is barely enough."

"An underrated perk of being an adult is you no longer outgrow your clothes."

"Bean bags are just boneless sofas."

"The best part of cucumber tastes like the worst part of watermelon."

"Witches have black cats because if they had white cats they would have white cat hair all over their clothes."

"Drinking water with a minty mouth is the cold version of spicy."

"Only one sock goes missing because if both disappeared, you wouldn’t notice."

"25 years ago seeing a toddler use technology was seen as a stroke of genius, today it is largely met with thoughts of a lack of parenting."

"Your tongue’s ability to detect hair is underrated."

"The E's in pee/bee are silent."

"Watching a graduation ceremony is like sitting through a movie that's entirely end credits."

"Your dog thinks "fetch" is a game that the two of you made up, and he loves you for that."

"Knowledge is knowing that you can carry all of the groceries in at once. Wisdom is making multiple trips so that by the time you are done, other family members have put away most of the groceries."

"Accidentally liking someone's post while snooping through their profile is the digital equivalent of stepping on a twig while sneaking through the forest."

"Its common for babies to fall asleep and wake up in different locations all the time, but as an adult the idea of that happening is terrifying."

"Being shot with an arrow is basically being long-distance stabbed."