The Madness Continues

Last week I told you the weird tale of a strange creature who (badly) rules a beautiful country. In the aftermath of last week's chaos there have been people marching all over the country, protesting his actions and calling for him to step down. All the residents of this beautiful country, black, white, Indian, Chinese, Coloured, they all joined together in protest. It was a splendid show of unity in the face of adversity! And what did our strange creature do? He called the protest action racist. This puzzled me greatly, as people of all races joined together in protest against him. That is when I remembered that he is unlike any person on this planet, and hence is probably not a member of any of the races that protested against him.

Because of his questionable choices I believe that our strange creature has many advisers. Sure, they are doing their job very badly, but I think he hasn't realised it yet, so he continues to seek their counsel. I suspect that, apart from his local advisers, he also has one that he secretly recruited from overseas. Most likely from California in the United States. One that thinks surfing is a career choice and whose work attire consists of a Hawaiian shirt, shorts and sandals. He is probably called Kurt. I can imagine the conversation between our strange creature and Kurt one morning over tea and dagga koekies.

JZ: "Kurt, I am......going to make.......some changes. People will be very.......upset with me. What can I..........do to calm them down."
K: "Give them weed bro. People love weed!"
JZ: "I don't want......to spend more money. That sounds.......very expensive."
K: "Naw dude, make it legal for them to grow their own weed. That way it won't cost you anything!"
JZ: "That sounds......like a great idea. Thank you.....Kurt."
K: "It's all good man. Just make it illegal to sell weed. I don't want to put my dealer out of business!"

My sister suggested an ending to my tale of the strange creature. One where he comes face to face with Superman. After warning our strange creature to clean up his act and learn to count, they shake hands in a show of solidarity. At that moment Superman sneezes, his Kryptonian physiology reacting to the strange creature's touch. Cargo ships take flight, a massive sinkhole appears, a volcano erupts in Ghana, and Superman is left holding the strange creature's hand. But alas, there is no sign of the creature himself. And so peace and prosperity is brought back to the beautiful country, and we will all live happily ever after...