Dawn of the (Brain)Dead

Every now and then when I am bored, or in serious need of a good belly laugh, I go onto Yahoo Answers. For those who don't know, Yahoo Answers is a forum where people can ask about literally anything, and then get answers from other people. And it definitely has its benefits. But you also get a glimpse into a dark world, a world filled with people who think with other parts of their body, because their brain has gone missing. I thought I'd share a few of dumbest questions ever asked, and their frankly brilliant answers.....

Question: “Why are babies so ugly when they are born?”
Answer: “How about you stay under water for 9 to 10 months then squeeze through a straw and see how you look???”

Question: “How do I get rid of oily face?”
Answer: “Getting rid of your face is not recommended. No matter how oily it is. The face serves many functions and you should not try to remove it.”

Question: “How big is Specific Ocean?”
Answer: “Can you be more Pacific?”

Question: “…Is it true that if you dye you hair a week before your period the dye doesn’t color as well?”
Answer: “It seems like most of your brain cells are already dead. So I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.”

Question: “I don’t fit in the family. I think its time to come clean with them, should I tell my parents I’m adopted?”
Answer: “No; let them keep guessing.”

Question: “If a two-year old hands you a toy phone, should you answer it? What will you do if this happened to you?”
Answer: ” Oh definitely, what happens if it's someone massively important on the other end?!”

Question: “I’ve been calling & calling & calling YouTube all day to come film me but no answer. How do other people get their videos up there? I have some really funny stuff but they won’t come.”
Answer: “You have to call 1-800-You-Tube. The issue is that they are so busy that they only answer the phones at 2 am on Sundays and Wednesdays only…this way they know who the serious people are and only send film crew out to those people. If you call at any other time you won’t even be connected through to them. Source(s): I work for YouTube.”

Question: “if I eat myself would I become twice as big or disappear completely?”
Answer: “That just blew my mind.”

Question: “Just ate 52 pizza rolls, will I die in my sleep? There are 152 calories in 2 rolls, will I die? Oh and I had 2 litters of coke with it.”
Answer: “You have a better chance of farting a hole through your sheets.”

Question: “What kind of bees produce milk?”
Answer: “What kind of cow produces honey?”

Question: “What percentage of water is celery”
Answer: “Water is exactly 0% celery.”

Question: “if evolution is true then why do pigs not have wings?"
Answer: “Because evolution doesn’t give you wings, Red Bull does.”

Question: “What’s better to learn, American, British or English?”
Answer: “well considering American is English, you should probably jump off a bridge.”

Question: “How was the routine of milking cows for milk discovered?”
Answer: “Guessing there was a cow molester?”

Question: “What does it mean when someone says “meow” to you?”
Answer: “They’re cats.”

Question: “I’m 11 and I have my period and my brother is 17 and he hasn’t got his yet? Does it take longer because he’s a boy?”
Answer: “Yeah, it just takes longer for a boy.”

Question: “Why doesn’t the earth fall down.”
Answer: “Because it can fly.”

Question: “How do you know if u’re possed by the devil, are their any signs?”
Answer: “Yes. Inability to spell.”

Question: “I would like to be a Justin Bieber fan. Currently I am a Jack Norris fan and I would like to switch to Justin Bieber. How can I successfully achieve this goal?”
Answer: “Lose all brain function. Maybe sustain a pretty substantial blow to your head.”

Question: “What does India produce more of?”
Answer: “They produce more Indians than any country on earth.”


I despair for mankind.....