Life Hacks

 Let's face it, in today's day and age, life can get pretty tough. From depressing news stories and natural disasters to global pandemics and mind-boggling politics, we often don't know how to deal with everyday things. But fear not, for I have scoured the internet in search of ways to make our lives simpler. So, without further ado, I present to you Life Hacks to Make Things Easier!

1. When buying a nightstand or cabinet that you have to assemble yourself, simply keep it in the box and use the box as the nightstand instead.

2. Never be sad while on vacation. Cry during work hours. That way you get paid for it!

3. When living with a messy roommate, pretend to be a hot girl on Tinder and match with him so you can tell him you are coming over and have him clean the apartment.

4. If your milk is about to expire but you still have a lot left, but it in a container that has no printed expiry date to make it last longer.

5. When going to the gym, don't lift the large weights, lift the small ones. They are much lighter and easier to lift.

6. Why cook food in an oven at 180 degrees for 40 minutes when you can save time by cooking it at 14 000 degrees for 1 minute.

7. When you are getting married, send invitations to all the billionaires you can reach. You have a 50/50 chance that their assistants will send you a perfunctory gift because they don't know who the hell you are but don't want to take the risk that you are someone important.

8. If you get bitten by a shark, bite it back. You will most likely still die but the shark will have learned a valuable lesson.

9. If you feel alone on Valentine's Day, just watch a horror film with the lights off. After a few minutes you won't feel alone anymore.

10. If you don't have a smoke detector in your kitchen, hang a bag of unpopped popcorn from the ceiling. If you wake up to the sound of popcorn popping, you know to get out of the house.

11. Taking the veggies off of your double bacon cheeseburger will decrease the amount of calories consumed.

12. Download smaller viruses onto your computer to help it build immunity.

13. When you are on the couch with your partner watching TV and you feel like a snack, check if they have their phone with them. If they don't, secretly send a text to their phone with your order, they will get up to check the message and bring you back your snack.

14. Don't embarrass a guy by telling him his fly is open in public. Be a man and walk over to him and zip it up for him slowly. Maintain eye contact throughout.

15. If cutting onions make you cry, wrap clingfilm around your head so the fumes can't get to you.

16. If you are being chased by a wild animal, fall to the ground. After 5 seconds it won't attack or eat you because of the 5 Second Rule.

17. Start every phone call with "My battery is almost dead." That way you can hang up whenever you want to.

18. If you don't want your bananas to go off, hang them from the ceiling on a hangar to make them think they are still on the tree.

19. If someone offers you a potato chip, sneeze in the bag to make them give you the rest as well.

20. When in line at the ATM, gently kiss the person in front of you on the neck so they know you are not a threat.