Friday 17 April 2020

Shower Time

Many a text on loving relationships speak of spending time together. Whether by watching movies or series together, sharing meals or just simply sitting and the couch and chatting, quality time is essential. But quite a lot of those texts also mention showering together to build intimacy. And let's be honest, soaping each other up in the shower can get quite exciting! But often times the fantasy that you, as the man, have built up in your head gets a rude awakening when reality sets in. Why is this, you ask? It is quite simple. Women love to shower in water hot enough to cook rice in!
Don't get me wrong, I love a nice steamy shower as much as anyone! But there is a marked difference between my idea of hot and my beloved's idea of hot. I always thought that a hot shower meant steamy water shooting down from the shower head like a refreshing, albeit quite warm, summer rain, soothing and relaxing. The temperature that my beloved tolerates, and prefers, I always considered reserved for boiling pasta. And I am not alone in this. I've read many an article about women preferring temperatures that men would consider absurd!

So why is it that women like hot showers? And by hot I mean bordering on the gates of hell hot. I'm convinced that the reason the metal shower head doesn't glow red by the time my beloved is done is down to the fact that there is so much moisture generated by the steam that it is cooled slightly. I once decided to try a shower at temperatures that she would find acceptable. After just a few minutes, honestly as much as I could tolerate, I got out of the shower looking like I had just vacationed naked in the Nevada desert with no sunscreen. It took a very long time for me to return from a deep scarlet to my normal skin colour. In fact, I had to spend some time in front of our high velocity fan just to achieve maximum cooling.

There are many theories as to why women prefer a regular dousing in lava. Some say that women tend to lose body heat faster than men, others say it is down to hormones, yet others say it is a biological need to store up heat for cold times. Whatever the actual reason, I have my own theory. I think it is simply down to this; women can tolerate a lot more physically than can men. As men we don't have to have cramps for 7 days out of each month, we don't need to carry the weight of a developing watermelon for 9 months, and we certainly don't need to then try and squeeze said watermelon out of our private parts. Let's face it guys, when it comes to tough, we have a lot to learn.....

1 comment:

  1. Hence my theory that all lobsters are female. Nobody has every proved the opposite.

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