The Dreaded Question

There exists a question, one that most guys fear more than "Does this make me look fat?" or "Do you think I've picked up weight?" No, the one that strikes terror into most men is "So whatcha thinking about?"

The reason that most guys fear this question with a passion is that, most of the time, we're not thinking anything. Yes, you read that right. We can sit without a single coherent thought passing through our brain. That is why guys can sit next to a dam or river for an entire day pretending to fish while not actually doing anything. The only effort required is to lift the bottle of beer to your lips and take a good gulp.

The thing is that women's minds are constantly active. They are famous for multi-tasking, whereas guys are most definitely not. A woman can think of the grocery list, what she needs to dress the kids in, plan the entire route to the shops/school/hair salon, think of what to make for dinner and still carry on a conversation about the cute blouse she saw in Woolworths the other day. In the same span of time a guy is giggling about cutting a loud fart and wondering what to wear that day.

Women just don't have the ability to clear their minds and think of......well, nothing. Whereas guys can do that with ease. That is why all men fear the question of what is passing through their mind at that point. Because answering "Nothing", while true, will result in a massive argument because the woman believes he doesn't want to tell her what deep thoughts he is pondering. So ladies, take note, there are times where we will stare into the distance with a vacant expression on our faces. This does not mean we are pondering ways to save the rainforest or finding life on Mars. Nope, it means our internal screensaver is on and we are giving our minds a rest....

Once Upon a Time

Every few years our politicians get up from their comfy chairs and decide to mingle with the public, kiss babies, smile broadly and make promises they don't intend to keep. And every political party has their own list of particular promises. Some promise more jobs and free housing, other free health care. One political party even promised to nationalize the ocean, because it is unfair that only a few people should benefit from it!

The biggest problem that we have in South African politics (apart from the fact that no-one in government actually knows what they're doing) is that we have a massive amount of large and small political parties all trying to get people to vote for them and thus diluting the whole voting process. My lovely companion recently mentioned that we should follow the American system and have just two major parties instead of 5 million small ones. And I agree with her. That way the reigning party can be held more accountable, and if they screw up, they can be booted out and the other one takes over. Unfortunately, even though they all promise to raise the dead, end world hunger and give everyone free Ferraris, those promises never realize. At this point there is so much fiction going on at the polls that I think we should start looking elsewhere for our political leaders.....