Cat Rap

 So, because I am weirder than a chameleon juggling paintbrushes, inspiration hits me at the weirdest moments. This morning, for example, I was browsing on Facebook and came across what I thought is an awesome picture. And because my thought processes will make most people back away slowly and look for the nearest heavy object for self defense, I started wondering what my cat would say if she ever released a rap album. And thus, just to make you question my sanity some more, I give you......Cat Attack!

 

Watching the birds fly by
I want to snatch them out of the sky
Bring them to the ground with an awesome bang
And tear into them with my razor-sharp fangs

But first I have to run around the house
Frantically chasing an imaginary mouse
Then jump onto my servant’s bed
And for absolutely no reason sit on his head

I’m a cat, yo!
I’m seriously cool!
If you don’t dig it
You are a fool!

I sleep all day
And run around all night
Loudly serenading you
With all my might

What’s this?
You’re trying to sleep?
Imma cough up a hairball
On your feet

Shedding fur
All over the place
Stealing your hair ties
And leaving no trace

You’re calling me?
Fool! I’ll ignore you!
Unless you have the can opener
Then I’ll implore you

I scratch your things
Without a care
Then cover everything
With my hair

It’s a cat’s life
And I’m king of the hill
Imma leave it there
Do with it what you will!