Raise Your Glass!

Over the weekend I was chatting to my father, discussing our upcoming Russian evening. He will be responsible for providing the beverages and has researched quite a few interesting Russian drinks options. But that got me thinking, what else is out there? Following on my previous post about weird things to ingest (which can be found here) I decided this time around to focus specifically on drinks. And so, without further ado (or thinking too hard about it) here is what I found:

Birch Sap Wine

This little gem comes to us from the weird and wonderful folks in the United States of America. A twig is cut off from a Birch tree and the sap is then allowed to run into a bottle (which hangs in the tree like some big plastic parasite). When enough sap has been gathered it is taken down and sugar, yeast and lemon juice is added to it. It is then heated and left to ferment for 5 days. It is said, and I'm copying a direct quote here, to taste like "citrus, some sour dough bread and nuts” with a “long, slightly nutty balanced aftertaste of forest, fungus, herbs and apples”. First of all, just the fact that the word "fungus" appears in the description of the taste already makes me wonder about the sanity of the people who drink this! Secondly, what is wrong with wine made from grapes? I have never once looked at a tree in my yard and thought "Yes, you will be delicious with some sugar, yeast and lemons!"

Mamma Mia's Pizza Beer

Once again, the intellectual giants in the United States of America have managed to ruin another of my favourite foods. This time by making beer out of it. I wish I was joking about this, but the review on the brewer's website reads as follows: “A whole wheat crust made with water, flour and yeast is topped with tomato, oregano, basil and garlic. The essence of the pizza spices is washed off with hot water and filtered into a brewpot, where it is boiled for a long, long time. During the process, we add hops and spices in a cheesecloth type bag & filter the cooled liquid into a fermentation vessel (big glass six gallon water jug). After a week or two, the beer is good to go. Keg it or bottle it.” You can only shake your head and wonder what else the Americans will ruin for us!

Reindeer Horn Whiskey

Have you ever had a longing for a nice refreshing glass of reindeer horn whiskey after a long day at the office? No? Neither have I! But apparently the people of Thailand think this is quite good. This traditional rice grain Thai whiskey is made by infusing actual reindeer antlers, ginseng roots and other special medicinal herbs in a large clay pot for several months, after which it is filtered and bottled. Reindeer antlers are believed to increase virility and improve well-being, while in some south east Asian circles, it is believed consuming them will bring you higher social status. The spirit is said to have a “rich earthy finish with a woody aroma”, and a slight “sweet taste with a hint of liquorice”. Um, no. Just no!

Three Penis Liquor

Just when you thought things couldn't get any stranger, the Chinese proudly present Three Penis Liquor! It is made by brewing seal penis, deer penis and Cantonese dog penis to produce a Chinese rice wine which is also a traditional medicine believed to impart male potency and virility to the drinker. Bottles of Tezhi Sanbian Jiu (Three Penis Liquor) can apparently be found in supermarkets across Shanghai. I am at a loss for words!

Seagull Wine

This rather strange drink comes to you from our friends the Inuits, who prepare this refreshing drink by taking a dead seagull and stuffing it in a jar full of water and then leaving it in the sun to ferment. A brave reviewer sums the taste up as follows: “If you opened up a Toyota’s Carburetor and drank the leftover fluid from inside, that would be pretty close. It goes down hard and settles in even worse. But I must say it sure gets people inebriated in a hurry. And the next day’s hangover is nothing short of spectacular. You’ll feel like you’ve been repeatedly beaten over the head by a giant…well, seagull.”

Sourtoe Cocktail

I decided to finish this post off with a bizarre contribution from those zany folks up in Canada. Exclusive to The Downtown Hotel in Dawson City, for a fee, they will drop a pickled human toe into your cocktail. The toe was donated by a man who accidentally cut his off with a lawn mower, and has been a tradition since the 1970s. More than 50 000 people are alleged to have joined the Sourtoe Cocktail Club! Unfortunately for the hotel, this practice recently came to an abrupt halt when one daring individual swallowed the toe, incurring a fine of  CA$500 and probably a very upset stomach! The hotel has since started advertising for another donation, hoping to continue the tradition.