Incident Report - Sub-Commander FhxlG'Tul
Subject - IGO-3 (Known to its inhabitants as Earth)
It is with great regret that I have to report a large setback in our primary mission. As you are aware, we are observing human life on IGO-3, and have been for some time, in order to see if first contact between our people and the human population will be possible. After reviewing all data the decision was made by Star Command to attempt a gradual approach to revealing ourselves to the humans, despite my initial report stating that more time was needed. As ordered, a gift package was prepared containing some examples of our poetry, languages and culture. It was to be sent to a large colourless structure referred to by the humans as the White House. The person residing there, called the president, seems to believe that he is in control of the world. While we doubt this claim, we thought that we might as well attempt first contact there as, in most of Earth's visually recorded media (called movies), all alien first contacts seem to happen in America.
The Incident
After the gift package was prepared, Sub-Servant Ntgr'Dum was assigned to launch it. Unfortunately, the imbecile instead launched a pod containing some of our Mandalosian Tree Spice, used to flavour our nutrient packs. He realised his error very quickly but, in his haste to attempt to turn the pod around, all he managed to do was send it wildly off course. It landed in a city called Wuhan, a densely populated city in a country referred to as China. We hoped to send a team down to covertly recover it but it was discovered quite quickly. Unfortunately it seems that our Tree Spice is not compatible with human physiology.
The Effects
For reasons unknown to us, the Spice seems to cause severe illness in humans. And, even more bizarrely, it seems that the illness is highly contagious. The humans are referring to it as the Coronavirus, or Covid-19. Its symptoms resemble those of an existing human virus called the flu, which affects their respiratory systems. From what we have observed, the symptoms are as follows:
- a build-up of mucus, which leaks from their nasal passages
- this build-up causes loss of smell and taste
- a dramatic increase in overall body temperature
- this temperature increase causes them to leak moisture. It appears to be their body's way of attempting to cool itself down
- they also start making strange noises, referred to by them as coughing and sneezing
- this causes mucus and saliva to be propelled from their bodies at great velocity. This is apparently how the virus is spread.
- in those with a weakened immune system, it can result in death
The various countries on the planet quickly put strict bans on travel and commerce in place in an attempt to slow the spread of this disease. It has had a very negative impact on the global economy. It would appear then that, while we had the best of intentions, due to the actions of one unforgivably stupid individual, we may have broken their society. I therefore request further instructions from Star Command, both on how to attempt to repair this disaster and on how to punish Sub-Servant Ntgr'Dum. Our normal punishment of simply blowing him out of an airlock and vaporising him with our cannons seems a bit light in view of the chaos he has caused. There have been talks of simply beaming him down to the surface, to the original intended destination, with a big sign around his neck saying 'I caused the Coronavirus' and having the human population deal with him. As always, I await your response.
