Inevitably someone will be running down a road and will be chased by the baddie in a car. It won't matter that the foliage next to the road is thick enough to hide Godzilla, the victim will never think to dive into the safety of the bushes where the car can't go.
Women Can't Run
The baddie appears, the woman bolts for the exit. The floor will be as free from obstacles as an ice rink but the woman will trip over absolutely nothing, enabling the baddie to catch up and shoot/stab/eat her.
The Useless Cars
At some point someone will jump into a car and try and start it. And, without fail, the car won't start. This is the same car that will most likely be shown running perfectly and reliably throughout the first part of the film.
Splitting Up
In most, if not all horror films, a group of people will decide that their chances of survival will increase if they split up into smaller groups or head off into the darkness on their own. Let's face it, if you are in a group of people of 4 to 6, you could easily overpower said baddie. But no, let's all split up and get creatively murdered while stumbling around in the dark.
Adults Are Useless
If it is a horror film where the main protagonists are kids/teens, the adults will usually not be of any help whatsoever and get murdered by the baddie the moment the kids/teens approach them for help.
The Speed-walking Killer
It seems that, no matter how fast the victim is running, the killer who is purposefully striding after them at a brisk pace will always be gaining. I'd love to be on that fitness program!
Phones Don't Work
No phone will ever work in a horror film once the baddie makes an appearance. Landlines will be cut or out of service and cell phones won't have signal or would have been destroyed in some accident.
Dark House/Building/Basement
There will always be a creepy house or dilapidated building or gloomy basement, usually so the baddie can jump out and murder a member of the group. What baffles me is how the baddie hasn't fallen asleep out of sheer boredom while sitting in the dark waiting for his first victims to arrive. And how he is not instantly blinded by the light that someone will eventually shine on him so he can murder them.
The Final Girl
There will always be the girl/teen/woman who has faced the baddie at least 15 times, each time getting slashed or stabbed or wounded in some way but persevering and eventually ending the baddie in some brutal way before hobbling off into the sunrise.
The Expert Shooter
The hero will always be an expert marksman, even when they've never wielded a gun up to that point. They will find one, fumble with it for a bit before emptying the entire magazine into the killer with surprising accuracy.
Jump Scares
There will come a time where the hero is catching his/her breath, usually in a darkened space, and then suddenly the killer will leap out and cause them to run away. How the killer got into their hiding space before them and why he doesn't just stab them then and there will always puzzle me.
Creepy Kids/Teens
For some reason there will always be creepy kids or teens hanging around. The little girl with the dark hair blocking out her face is a popular choice.
Killer Bathrooms
Most of the murders in movies will happen in the bathrooms. Either because the victims have decided to take shelter there (in case of pooping themselves out of sheer terror) or they are in the bath or shower, usually soaping themselves up like someone in a body wash commercial before getting murdered by the baddie.
Tardy Cops
The police will always arrive too late to actually do anything. And then in most cases get murdered by the baddie themselves.
Affection Kills
ANY form of romantic affection or intimacy basically guarantees that you will get murdered in the same scene, while the steamy events are happening, or one directly thereafter.
"Based on Actual Events"
Thriller/horror film producers like adding that line in, just to make you think that this has happened somewhere in the world and could thus happen to you.
The Rising Tension
Most of the time, while the hero is attempting to sneak away from the baddie, the music will rise dramatically thus making you think that the baddie is going to jump out and murder them right there and then but..........nothing happens.
Gloomy Investigations
The victims will always go and investigate dark areas. If you knew a killer was in the vicinity you would rather stick to well-lit areas instead of bravely but stupidly heading into the dark to go and see if you can find them. But then I suppose if the victim simply walks into a well-lit area and sits around for 90 minutes the film would be pretty boring.
Animals
Just as with affection, if the victim investigates a noise in a darkened room and is startled by a cat/dog/other miscellaneous animal, they are pretty much guaranteed to get murdered immediately after breathing a sigh of relief.
The Unkillable Killer
The killer will always survive whatever is done to them for the duration of the movie. They will get stabbed, shot, set on fire, thrown from a roof, blown up or run over but will always get back up to try and murder the victim again. That is some serious dedication!
