Tuesday, 13 February 2018

Dreaming

To all my readers, I do apologise for the lack of blog posts recently. Unfortunately this year has started off with a bang and I find myself busier than a toddler on Red Bull! Keep an eye out though, I will keep posting as time allows!

The other morning I woke up, having spent a night dreaming some of the weirdest dreams imaginable. I kept wondering if I had managed to ingest some hallucinogenic compound before bedtime. Thankfully I can't recall most of said dreams (as I may have to book myself in for some psychiatric evaluation) but that got me thinking, what do other people dream about. Are their dreams as weird as mine? I scoured Google for the answer, and apparently my dreams (weird as they are) pale in comparison:
 1. "I had a dream in which I spent a steamy evening with E.T., and he... pleasured me."

 2. "I dreamt about people who had waffles for heads and someone took a giant bite out of the top of one of them so he died and they had a funeral for him. I woke up crying."

 3. "Kit Harrington (Jon Snow from Game of Thrones) came over to me under Big Ben, put three balls of moss on me, and said, "Reading is everywhere" as a rainbow formed over his head."

 4. "At a scary red restaurant where they made kids sit on the floor, giant macaroni noodles came out of the ground and started eating people. We escaped, though."

 5. "Batman (Christian Bale's version) and Jareth the Goblin King (from the Labyrinth) were slap-fighting each other like children over who was going to go to the theater with me."

 6. "I once dreamt a sloth was doing my nails and kept telling me that I should invest in the stock market."

 7. "I was running away from the scary guy in the movie Scream (or Scary Movie) and he finally caught up to me and shoved my face into a bucket of spaghetti."

 8. "I was running through a maze and all of a sudden Kermit the Frog jumped out with a knife. I kept running until Dustin Hoffman rose from the ground and shot Kermit."

 9. "Big Foot was dressed up in drag riding a motorcycle around a small rectangular room full of mob dudes."

 10. "George Bush was showing me how to take pictures of cats. He was writing plays on a whiteboard like a football coach… showing a plan of action to capture the presidential cats as they lay multicolored eggs all over the place. "

 11. "Dinosaurs were overtaking my city. Peter Pan and I had to hunt down and fight the reigning T-Rex to restore balance to the Earth. Yeah."

 12. "I flick on the light to see Bruce Springsteen (in complete "Born in the USA" get-up) going through my sock drawer and stealing all my good pairs of socks. When I actually woke up I had to check the drawer, just in case."

 13. " I came back home from my elementary school, where everyone had become aliens. I saw my dad, and told him what happened. He responded, 'I'm not your dad,' and pointed at a nail sticking out from his head, which was proof of being an alien."

 14. "A badger was dressed up as a musketeer on his adventures to steal a magical spice rack from a zeppelin."

 15. "I had a dream that my parents had been abducted by a cult that was lead by The Undertaker from the WWE. I managed to beat him up with the coconut I had hidden in my cult robes."