Holding Out for a Hero

Right, now that you have Bonnie Tyler's massive blond mane and raspy voice singing through your head, we can continue. It has been said that a dad is his daughter's hero. He can do anything, fix anything, be anything. He is stronger than Superman, faster than the Flash and can handle more repair jobs than Bob the Builder. His mighty arms provide comfort and in his presence nothing can go wrong. And as a dad, that is a lot of pressure!

My little one clearly has a lot of faith in my fatherly abilities. One night, while outside and gazing at the full moon (which she has always adored) she asked me to hold her up high so that she could touch it. I had to explain rather quickly that it is quite far away, and that she wouldn't be able to reach. Another time she brought me a rubber toy that had been treated rather differently than the designer had anticipated and was thus mangled and broken. With her big beautiful brown eyes sparkling with daughterly trust she asked me to repair it. I should explain that it had started off its life as a rubber lizard, but now resembled a thoroughly masticated jelly baby. I had to tell her that, unfortunately, said rubber lizard was beyond even my ability to repair.

There are many other examples of her tremendous trust in my supernatural abilities:

• She once asked me to make a helium balloon float again.
• Another time she asked me to pick up her boerboel and throw him on the house's roof so that he could chase and scare off birds that were annoying her.
• On another occasion, while preparing to make dinner, she declared that because I had handled the food it had magically been made edible and wanted some immediately.
• I have to occasionally do animal impressions for her as a game, the most interesting request was to pretend to be a zebra (with all the appropriate sound effects)
• She recently went on her first major airline flight and enjoyed it so much that she constantly requests to do it again. Once, when I answered that it was too expensive to do it regularly, she told me to simply build a Boeing so that we would have one of our own.

I suspect that dads everywhere can identify with the adoration that our little ones shower upon us. But I also suspect they can identify with the weird requests that our kids can come up with, because let's face it, in their innocent eyes we are all heroes.

Innocence Lost

So my little one is a big fan of animated movies. And let's face it, Disney and Pixar can crank out some really awesome ones. But of course, having a pre-schooler does mean that you have to watch the same animated movie at least 17 592 times before they get bored of it. Which usually lasts about two weeks and then they want to watch it again, just to make sure. So the other night, while watching The Lion King for the 739th time, I started noticing some rather adult references, something that would, thankfully, pass the little one by. So I thought I'd scour the internet and see if what I glimpsed was true. And I found a lot more than I bargained for! It appears that animated filmmakers like to sneak in some very adult humour in an attempt to amuse the more mature watcher:

Cars

This Pixar film about a world with living cars looks like a lot of fun, until you have a look at some of the characters depicted. I draw your attention to a rather inappropriate van in the picture above.

At some point during the movie, two of Lightning McQueen's female fans flash their headlights at him. I don't think I have to explain that reference.

Monsters Inc

Monsters Inc is another award winning Pixar film. The story revolves around monsters that scare children in order to power their city using the sound of the children's screams. In a heartwarming turn of events, they realise that children's laughter has much more power. In the scene above though, it might be the adults laughing. Have a look at the drawing to the left of the door.

Ratatouille

There are lots of funny moments in this movie that would slip past a younger audience. One such moment is where Linguini tries to reveal the truth about his cooking ability to his love interest, Colette. When he starts the sentence with "I have this tiny..." she briefly looks down to his trousers with concern.

The main villain in the film, food critic Anton Ego, also makes a rather adult reference when discussing how he rates food. He blatantly states "If I don't love it, I don't swallow."

Mulan

In the Disney animated film about the great Chinese female general Mulan, the Fa family guardian Mushu, portrayed by Eddie Murphy, explains his tremendous powers to Mulan. His abilities include being able to see right through Mulan's armour, causing her to try and cover up.

 

The Lion King

Now for the film that made me take notice of the rather R-rated moments in children's films. At some point Simba and Nala frolic together after meeting up again after years apart. At some stage during their playful session, Nala licks Simba on the cheek and then lays back and gives him a look that, thankfully, only adults will understand.

During the catchy musical number "I Just Can't Wait to be King" Zazu, portrayed brilliantly by Rowan Atkinson chases after Simba who is riding an ostrich. He flies through some trees and over some very, um, suggestively shaped hills.

These were just a few of the more mature moments in animated films. There are literally hundreds of others that I haven't mentioned. Clearly, when it is time for the little one to learn about the birds and the bees, no explanation is necessary. Just throw on a Disney and relax.....