Damn You Autocorrect!

Technology is a great help in today's day and age. It makes our lives so much simpler in all aspects. Except one.....autocorrect for text on your phone. All phones come with an autocorrect function these days. A handy helper to make your life easier. Except that its word suggestions are about as accurate as an Imperial Stormtrooper trying to hit the broad side of a barn. I think we have all experienced embarrassing and enraging moments while typing a message on our phones.

This morning a friend of mine typed an instant message in response to a picture that I sent her. She wanted to make a comment about arachnophobia. Instead, her phone turned it into aracmaphowbic. So either the phone was suggesting something in Ukrainian or it is completely intoxicated on something highly hallucinogenic! After we laughed about her phone's faux pas I recounted an instance where I was typing a message to another friend of mine. I typed the word "organise" and my phone turned it into "orgasm". How is that even remotely connected to the word that I intended to use?! And it would have in no way fit the sentence! I suspect the programmers responsible for creating the autocorrect function either suffer from a serious lack of sleep or a very sadistic sense of humour!

This new electronic blight on our society is so widespread that it has spawned a plethora of websites dedicated to this problem. My favourite is Damn You Autocorrect, hence the name of my post. Here people take screenshots of conversations which have gone spectacularly wrong because of the autocorrect function. If your phone is annoying you, or you have unexpected free time during your lunch hour, I suggest you browse around on the site and share in the frustration of others who have fallen victim to their phone's vindictiveness. Who knows, you may even be tempted to share some of your own horror stories....

Just Another Manic Monday

I recently had a very relaxing vacation in George, in the Western Cape. From the moment the plane touched down I could sense that I was somewhere where time moves at a different pace. People drive at a leisurely pace, even during the week. There is no rush to get anywhere. And everywhere you look there are beautiful green fields and majestic mountains. Not to mention the pristine beaches and gorgeous blue water. It truly is a wondrous place!

Then, on Saturday, I took my leave of the glorious city of George and flew back to Johannesburg. And immediately I could sense that I am back in the hustle and bustle of the big city. Taxis racing all over the place, people shouting and displaying various hand signals of dubious meaning, streets packed with cars. It made me want to get back on a plane to George instantly!

In Johannesburg and Pretoria, people drive a certain way - unpredictably. You never know if the guy in front of you will suddenly decide that he fancies chicken for lunch, or if he is in the mood to run over a pedestrian. He will just change lanes without any warning, usually at quite a high speed and with a complete and utter disregard for the traffic laws. In Gauteng people do know about the traffic laws, but have decided that it does not apply to them. No-one ever uses indicators, because it will give away their next move. You can't leave any gap between you and the car in front of you because it will instantly be filled with 4 taxis, 2 BMWs, an Audi and a Gautrain bus. And at every intersection you have someone trying to sell you coat hangers/newspapers/bumper stickers/license disc holders or other completely random objects. And the moment you show an interest in any one of these entrepreneurial geniuses they will all descend upon you like a swarm of bees.

It is no small wonder then that stress levels are much higher in the big cities. And it makes me long for the leisurely pace and stress free living along the coast. But when I really think about it, I will always miss the hustle and bustle of the big city. Is it because of the vibrant atmosphere, or the utter unpredictability? Maybe the colorful people and varied cultures? Or it may be that I am just utterly and completely mad. Who knows!