Anger Management

So we had a power failure recently. Usually not a major issue, just a minor inconvenience. Except that the power didn't come back up. For three days! Unfortunately this meant calling our local Municipal offices for their assistance. And after all this time spent on the phone multiple times a day for updates and progress reports, I can say with full honesty that I would rather eat broken glass and wash it down with battery acid than deal with the municipality again! First of all, you call the municipal call center and listen to all the various mind-numbing options:

"For assistance in English, Press 1. For assistance in Afrikaans, Press 2. If you suspect we are wasting your time, Press 3. Just because we ARE actually wasting your time, Press 4."

Once you have waded through the myriad useless options, then they put you on hold, also with a pre-recorded message. Unfortunately they used the most bored person they could find to record said message, so you are left almost sobbing with depression at the end of it. I am convinced that they actually want to say the following:

"Your call is important to us. Not really, but we have to say that to put you at ease. All of our agents are currently busy ignoring your call. Your call will be answered as soon as an agent can be bothered to pick up the phone. Or after the poker game."

After three days of begging, pleading, threatening, swearing, ranting and raving they finally managed to gather enough surviving brain cells to send out a technician. And 15 minutes later the power was restored. The whole experience has left me feeling like this...

Terror

I am a big fan of games. And I am a big fan of sci-fi. I particularly enjoy the Alien franchise. So when I heard that they were bringing out a survival horror game based on the franchise I jumped at the chance to experience it. For those who don't know what I am talking about, the picture below should refresh your memory....

Everyone has at some point or another watched a film featuring the cuddly guy above. Known as xenomorphs, these things are terrifying killing machines, capable of running on the walls or ceilings, tearing metal apart like it was soggy toilet paper and eliciting a yelp of terror from even the hardiest gamer or movie-goer. And now they've turned dealing with these things into an interactive bladder-leaking experience.

The game is called Alien Isolation and puts you in a direct one-on-one confrontation with a xenomorph who stalks you relentlessly through the halls of a derelict space station. "Ah, at least they will give you the means to deal with this nasty critter!" you say. But no, they don't. Nothing you do will deter this thing from trying to suck your liver out through your nose. If you make a noise, it will find you and kill you. If it is in the area while you are walking about, it will find you and kill you. If you walk under an open air vent, it will kill you. If you sneeze, it will kill you. If you breathe, it will kill you. A friend and I have spent some time trying to get through the game without getting killed. We have failed hopelessly. Time and time again. We've even silently crawled around for literally hours on end, hiding in lockers and under beds, trying to outsmart our grinning foe, only to be violently janked out of an air-duct or locker and french kissed to death. But we love it! Yes it is frustrating and terrifying, but that is what makes this an awesome game. Someone once asked me just how terrifying this game really is. I'll let you judge for yourself....